


Planetarium

by orphan_account



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Friends, Ex-Boyfriends, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Restaurants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:40:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23877070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Noctis, the only son of the wealthy businessman Regis Caelum, has everything in life with no effort on his part. The finest education with no debt? Yep. Money whenever he wants it? Yep. The most handsome boyfriend in the world? Ye- Nope. Not anymore.Tired with Noctis' ways, Ignis ended their relationship, cutting off all contact between them, saying some of the harshest criticism Noctis had ever been subjected to. He regretted it more than anything else he'd ever done. Noctis was his life. He always had been. But it had taken leaving him to realise how beautiful a person Noctis really was and how perfect his life had been.Enter the perfect wingman: Prompto Argentum.**NOTE: Currently working on a sequel :D
Relationships: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia
Comments: 117
Kudos: 131





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I found this chapter in my NaNoWriMo 2018 folder as a little break from my project and I totally forgot about it until I was browsing through my stuff today o.O
> 
> So I figured it's the perfect project to continue XD
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

Prompto looked across at Noctis. His heart really went out for him. He’d never been good at relationship advice, but the way Noctis’ shoulders hung and how the sad expression he wore was permanently etched on his face, it made Prompto want to at least try to help. “…You need to tell him.” 

“Tell who?” 

“Ignis. Tell him you still have feelings for him before it’s too late-”

“Nuh-uh. No way,” Noctis responded, shaking his head. “I can’t do that. He wants someone mature, confident and accomplished… I’m none of those things. I’m just a student, working part-time as a barista and he’s already graduated, _twice_ , and is already working as a head chef somewhere… I’ve got no chance, Prom.”

“Actually, his mooglebook profile says he’s a sous-chef. That’s-” Prompto stopped speaking when Noctis glared in his direction. “Sorry. I just meant it’s been ages since you last seen him, right? You’ve moved out and started working since then-”

“I’m only a part-time barista… that’s nothing special,” Noctis sighed, slumping back on Prompto’s bed in the student dorms.

“Uh, yeah it is! You know how many students are fighting for those kinda jobs while they’re at uni? Besides, you’re studying. No one can judge you for trying to better yourself…”

“I guess,” Noctis shrugged. 

Noctis wasn’t convinced. When Ignis had broken up with him, he’d made it clear that he wanted a grown-up relationship and not someone who games at every free minute, relying on their dad for money… They were fair points. In his first and second years at uni, he had been a bit too laid back. But while he was working towards his bachelors in business, to prepare for taking over the family business one day, Ignis had already graduated from his masters in the culinary arts despite only being twenty-two. 

An overachiever and a slacker hardly seemed like a match made to last. Even if they were childhood friends.

“I mean it, bro. You two have a history and I don’t think that’s easy to ignore,” Prompto smiled, doing his best to seem encouraging. 

“Maybe… but I don’t even know if he’s single anymore. It’s been, like, six months… someone like him would be snapped up. Let’s just forget it… I’ve missed my chance.”

Prompto’s smile fell as he rested a hand on Noctis’ shoulder. “You sure, buddy?”

Noctis thought for a moment, staring at his unmade bed on the other side of their dorm room. “... Yeah. Let’s play King’s Knight.”

“Game on, dude. I’m gonna kick your ass tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah. You wish.”

~

“Goodnight, chef,” Ignis called as he left the restaurant's kitchen through the back door. 

It had been another gruelling day, with no end to the onslaught of customers. The restaurant had its fair share of dissatisfied customers today and the head chef’s vocabulary diminished to vulgar insults, but it was nothing new in these conditions. There had been nothing wrong with the food. In fact, the only problem was customers wanting a free meal.

He looked up at the stars in the sky, idly wondering if Noctis was looking at them also before he realised he was doing it again. He couldn’t afford such thoughts when he was the one who had ended their relationship. Still, the loneliness he’d felt since graduating made him realise how good his time at university had actually been. Never once had he foresaw his life moving forward without his childhood best friend and now ex-boyfriend being a central part of it.

Apparently, his mind was unwilling to be distracted tonight.

He admired the way the stars shone, lighting his walk home through the empty Insomnian streets. Only a few people were out at this time of night and most were, at a guess, students on their way to clubs.

Despite their differences, he missed Noctis and stars always reminded him of his ex-boyfriend. They’d stargazed countless times growing up, having sleepovers at the weekends and spending time together whenever their parents visited each other’s manors, but that had stopped once his parents had passed and now Noctis’ dad was their only parental figure. He hadn’t the courage to visit Regis since breaking up with Noctis, though. He didn’t feel like he would be welcome after breaking Noctis’ heart.

With his parent’s gone, Ignis had sold the Scientia Manor given he had no desire to live somewhere so overly large for one person and now he lived alone in a new build city apartment. It was still more than he needed for himself, but it wasn’t full of memories of better times, so it was mildly easier to cope.

Cooking had never been his passion, but his father had been a renowned chef and growing up, he’d learned from him, deciding at a young age that he wanted to follow in his footsteps. His mother had encouraged him, given the promise he had shown, though he rather preferred baking. It was just a shame that without Noctis to eat the treats he made, there was little point making any at all.

Ignis sighed. Some days he regretted his life decisions…

~

Noctis woke up the next morning to Prompto yanking the duvet off him. “What gives?!”

“You gotta get up, bro,” Prompto beamed.

Noctis pouted. He didn’t like the mischievous look Prompto wore. “It’s a Saturday and I don’t have a shift today… Are you up to something?”

“Of course not,” Prompto replied, feigning innocence. “I would never do something to my roommate.”

“If you’ve taken photos of me sleeping again, I’m gonna kill you. It’s not artistic. It’s creepy.”

“Uh, yeah… no photos this time,” he laughed, throwing Noctis’ duvet back on him. “I just need to go out and I didn’t wanna go alone…”

“I’m busy sleeping.”

“I’ll buy you breakfast?” Prompto asked, pressing his hands together as if to beg.

“... Will there be bacon?”

“If you want bacon,” Prompto laughed. “I can throw in ice cream if we make it out before lunch?”

Noctis narrowed his eyes, trying to intimidate Prompto enough to spill what this was really about. “Fine. I’ll go,” he said, rolling sloppily out of bed, though it was only to make a point about being woken up before lunch.

“Dude, you’re the best!” Prompto laughed, holding his hand up for a five high.

Noctis slapped his hand against Prompto’s. Maybe, just maybe, life could be enjoyed without the love of your life a part of it…

~

“Why did you drag me here on a Saturday? I hate the city centre on weekends. It’s bad enough Iris dragging me around to take her shopping and now you’re at it,” Gladio grumbled as he walked beside Ignis through the crowd of busy shoppers and families. 

Ignis sighed. “You agreed to join me attending the opening of the new planetarium in exchange for a home-cooked dinner. You wouldn’t go back on such an agreement now, would you?”

“Well, no… but ain’t the planetarium a bit…”

“A bit?” Ignis enquired with an arched eyebrow as they continued on foot to their destination.

“It just feels kinda like a date-”

“This is not a date, Gladiolus. I apologise if you thought we were-”

“No. Hell no, Ignis. We’re cool, but not _that_ cool,” Gladio responded. “You’re always gonna be the nerd I accidentally friended in the kendo society.”

Ignis stared at Gladio. “I’m unsure whether to be offended by your statement or consider myself lucky for having interacted with you.”

Gladio shrugged with a grin. “Both.”

“Ah. I see. Well, now that our not-a-date has some form of clarification, this _nerd_ would like to express how much he appreciates your company today. You know things have been a little… difficult of late, so to speak.”

Gladio clapped his hand on Ignis’ back. “Always got your back, man. Really owe you one for helping me out back at uni… As soon as you mentioned you wanted to go to the planetarium I figured why you couldn’t do it alone… This stuff still makes you think about him, huh?” Gladio asked, sliding his hands back into his jeans pocket.

Ignis hung his head. He should have known Gladio would remember Noctis and their shared fondness for stargazing together. Though Gladio and Noctis had never met face to face as Ignis only saw Gladio at the kendo society, he’d told Gladio about his then-boyfriend when the conversation turned to relationships. 

“... You’re correct,” Ignis finally responded. “With time I’m sure the association will dissipate, but until then, it continues to sting the wound.” 

“You regret breaking up with him, huh?” Gladio asked, his eyes studying Ignis. 

“Some days more than others,” Ignis admitted. In fact, he’d regretted it almost immediately. It had been a lesson never to make decisions whilst angry. “However, I remind myself why I left and then it’s a little easier to move on.”

“I don’t call this moving on… you hardly do anything other than work or stay at home. Hell, it’s taken you over a month to hang out.” Gladio ran his hand through his hair. “You need to get out more. Meet some guys…”

Ignis chuckled. “If only it were that easy. Unlike you, finding a suitable partner is challenging. Girls may throw themselves into your arms, but men usually avoid me in favour of someone a little less… uptight.”

“Then loosen up! I can take you out on the town. We’ll get a few drinks. It’ll be fun,” Gladio said, nudging Ignis with his elbow.

Ignis went to decline, but hesitated. Would going out in the evening to a club or such really be the worst thing to happen? “Perhaps I’ll take you up on your offer, but only if you allow me to choose the venue.”

“So you can check the hygiene rating online ahead of time?”

“...”

“I know you did that last time.”

“Well, yes. To be honest, the cleanliness of some of these establishments disgusts me… still, it is a little embarrassing to be caught out,” Ignis responded with a half-smile as the planetarium came into view. His heart clenched knowing how much Noctis would have liked to be here…

~

“The planetarium?” Noctis asked, standing outside the building and staring at it in disbelief. He didn’t even know Insomnia had a planetarium or he would have invited Ignis. He stilled, taking a breath to ground himself. He looked at Prompto. “I’m not sure I can do this…”

Prompto side smiled at him. “I know you can, buddy. It’s not even real stars. After you crack this, you’ll be looking up at the sky again in no time!”

Noctis nodded, words lost to him. Prompto had a point. He couldn’t avoid looking at the sky forever. So, even though it was difficult, he followed Prompto, making no excuses to leave. They had just enjoyed the best breakfast ever, so he had to show some appreciation for Prompto’s help. 

As soon as they were inside, his eyes lit up. It was beautiful and immediately he felt lost in memories of the past. The stars were dear to him. It was almost as if he was being enveloped by stars and it was... nice. Nice to do something he’d always loved. Only, it would be better if someone else was here instead of his roommate.

“I wish there wasn’t a ban on taking photos,” Prompto huffed. “I could have got some cool selfies in here. Just imagine how awesome my profile pic would be on mooglebook with this backdrop!”

“Would be kinda cool,” Noctis agreed with a shrug. His eyes were still fixed on the ceiling. “This place is awesome…”

Prompto smiled, slinging his arm around Noctis’ shoulders. “Knew you’d like it, buddy.”

~

Ignis strolled around the planetarium in awe. It was better than he’d imagined and honestly, it felt nice to return to his hobby. Giving up stargazing had been like losing a part of himself.

“How are you finding it?” Ignis enquired, following Gladio’s line of sight to discover his focus being on a lady rather than the projection.

“Yeah, it’s good. I’d definitely come back,” Gladio grinned. “Glad you invited me.”

“As I am sure Miss flirtatious is over there also,” Ignis chuckled. He would be more astonished if Gladio hadn’t managed to pick a girl up. He knew all too well from university just how much of a ‘babe magnet’ Gladio was. “Go over to her if you want.”

Gladio turned to look Ignis. “I’m here with you. If she’s that interested she’ll slip me her number when we walk past.”

Ignis couldn’t help chuckling. “I struggle to understand your sexual prowess.”

“Hey. It’s not sexual prowess unless we end up in bed. I don’t just sleep with anyone who catches my eye. I got standards,” Gladio said, turning his back to the girl. “Besides, what friend would I be if I abandon you here, huh?”

“You abandoned me at graduation.”

“That… was different.”

“Oh?” Ignis said, arching an eyebrow in interest. “Pray tell, how was graduation different?”

Gladio ran a hand through his hair. “We dated for a few months…”

“A few months? I’m impressed.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get cocky. She was from Accordo and after a bit, she wanted to go home and neither of us wanted a long-distance relationship,” Gladio explained. 

“I was unaware of that,” Ignis responded, mulling over that information.

“Didn’t wanna flaunt that I was in a relationship after you broke up with your guy...”

Ignis looked down. “I appreciate your consideration. It was unnecessary though. As my friend, I wish to see you happy.”

Gladio shrugged. “I’m happy enough.”

Ignis went to respond, but a sight caught his eye and his body ran cold. A dozen feet or so away, Noctis stood looking at the projection with a young man who had his arm around his shoulders… It was a mistake on his part, but he hadn’t considered Noctis finding someone else. In his mind, they were both single and would be so for a while to come.

He couldn’t breathe.

“I’ve got to go…” he tried to whisper, but no sound came out as his eyes refused to look anywhere else but at Noctis. His heart breaking with every second that Noctis wore a smile for the mysterious blonde.

“Hey, is that _him_?”

Ignis nodded for a lack of access to his vocabulary. His chest felt constricted. His mind raced, feeling sick as thoughts raced around his mind about the blonde touching Noctis, being intimate with him, hearing the sounds Noctis had only made for him.

That’s when Noctis looked around and caught him staring. Ignis’ eyes widened in time with Noctis’ and judging by the look Noctis wore he was just as shocked to see him here. But then he caught the look of heartbreak as Noctis’ eyes fell on Gladio. Ignis joined him, trying to figure out what Gladio was doing to cause Noctis to look so hurt until it dawned on him. Noctis thought he and Gladio were an item because they’d never met in university.

Ignis stepped toward Noctis, desperate to clarify the situation, but in a flash, Noctis grabbed the blonde guy's hand and pulled him away, placing more distance between them.

His world shattered.

For his own stupidity, he’d been replaced.

It was the first time he truly had to accept that his endless pining was a waste of energy because now he stood no chance of ever winning Noctis back. Someone else had fallen for Noctis’ charms, and it was no surprise. Noctis was enduring…

~

“Dude, slow down!” Prompto whined, trying to keep up with Noctis as he dragged him out of the planetarium. As soon as they stopped jogging, he shook his hand free of Noctis’ grip. “You gonna tell me what’s up?” 

“I saw him.” 

“Who?” 

“ _Him_.”

“Oh… The Igster,” Prompto grinned. “Did he make your heart flutter? You should have spoken to him.”

Noctis frowned and shook his head. “He had a boyfriend that was all muscle and could snap me in half... I don’t stand a chance.” 

“He what? But his mooglebook said-” Prompto cut off as he frantically pulled out his phone and loaded up the app. “Yeah! It says he’s single! Look-” 

Noctis’ eyes narrowed. Prompto had been suspicious all morning. He reached for his phone out of his pocket and loaded up mooglebook for himself. He made a point not to look at Ignis’ profile now they’d unfriended each other, but for the first time in months, he did so. “Prom… what’s the real reason you brought me here?”

“... I thought you’d like it.” 

“So it’s got nothing to do with Iggy’s status at eight forty-two this morning?” 

Prompto swallowed, slipping his phone away. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

“So, you didn’t see ‘Looking forward to visiting the planetarium and catching up with a friend over lunch today’?”

“No…?” Prompto responded, biting his lip. 

Noctis glared at him.

“Okay, I did. I’m sorry! Just, I saw an opportunity buddy. I wanna see you guys get back together! You seem so unhappy without him...” 

“That wasn’t a decision for you to make! Iggy _dumped_ me. He didn’t want me anymore and now I seriously can’t face him again… Geez, Prom… I’m not good enough for Ignis and I’m learning to accept it. Just… give me time.” 

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Prompto whispered. His head hung, sinking in on himself. “I wanted to help…” 

Noctis closed his eyes, drawing in a breath to calm himself. “I know,” he eventually sighed, opening his eyes and pulling Prompto into a hug. “Thank you… you’re the best roommate I could ask for.” 

~

Ignis remained unmoving, staring after Noctis. He’d brought this on himself, and now he had to face the consequences. Noctis had moved on and now he had to as well. 

At the realisation he was welling up, he wiped the moisture away, hoping Gladio hadn’t noticed.

“Shall we make a move?” He inquired, glancing over at his friend. His heart twisting further at the look of pity in his eyes. “I’m a touch peckish,” he added in hopes they could leave faster and never return.

Gladio moved a little closer, pulling Ignis against him. “Maybe we should head back to mine? Iris has got loads of tearjerker movies and our freezers always stocked up with ice cream… and you can cry it out, yeah?” 

Ignis wiped his watery eyes once more, refusing to accept that he was crying in public. “What makes you think I need that?” 

Gladio stared at him, nodding at the tears Ignis was continuing to wipe away. “Look. I have a fifteen-year-old sister. I _know_ when someone is heartbroken and they need to cry it out. Even if you don’t cry at mine, the ice creams the good stuff. Never fails to hit the spot... Girls got handling this heartbreak stuff figured out.”

Ignis chuckled, leaning against Gladio. It felt nice to have some human contact after all these months. “Have girls anything to rewind time so one never breaks up with their boyfriend in a moment of foolishness?” 

“Doubt it. But they’ve got good chocolate.” 

~

The moment they were home in their dorm room, Noctis dived under his duvet and refused to move. He wasn’t tired, but he didn’t want to be anywhere else. 

Ignis was happily living his adult life, socialising and working with nothing on a silver platter. Whereas he was a shoo-in to one day succeed his father, with access to the family funds whenever he needed some extra cash. 

He’d done his best to live independently since Ignis dumped him. Moving into the budget dorms and paying for all his bills with his wages from being a barista and his loans like a normal student, but it wasn’t enough. Reacting like this was proof Ignis had been right to call him childish and spoilt. But how does he fix that? 

When he woke up, it was pitch black in their room and Prompto was lightly snoring in his bed. He hadn’t expected to sleep this long. 

A glance at his phone to check the time froze him in place. He could feel his heart pounding in his throat. 

Ignis had texted him. 

He tapped it. Never once having imagined Ignis would ever contact him again. He laughed. It was so predictable for Ignis to write an essay.

 **[Ignis 00:52]** Hello Noctis. I apologise for my reaction to seeing you today. I never intended to make either of you uncomfortable by looking in your direction. It surprised me to see you and I wanted to approach, but chose not to so that I didn’t inconvenience either of you. I want you to know I am happy for you and I’m glad to see you’ve found someone else. The pair of you looked very comfortable together and I hope he treats you how you deserve to be treated. You’re a wonderful person, and I wish you all the best in your future. Farewell. Ignis. 

“No… No. No. No. No… Ignis, you idiot…” 

Noctis reread the text again. Ignis thought he was dating Prompto? What the hell?! 

His heart pounded as he hastily fumbled to tap out a reply.

 **[Noctis 04:17]** You’ve got it all wrong Iggy. Prom’s my roommate this year. I’m paying my own way through my final year so we’re in a shared dorm room together. We’re not together. Just mates.   
**[Noctis 04:19]** And I should probably apologise too… I didn’t know how to react when I saw you and I panicked. Seeing you and your boyfriend(?) wasn’t something I expected today.   
**[Noctis 04:20]** Oh and you’re a wonderful person too. Life hasn’t really been the same without you around. 

He bit his lip, staring at the messages he’d sent, already regretting sending the last one. He knew Ignis would probably think he was being childish for saying that, but it was the best he could send without begging for another chance. 

He missed Ignis more than anything. There had been a time when he’d thought they were each other's forever boyfriends, but he screwed that up. Ignis had worked so hard through life, university especially, whereas he’d taken the easy ride. If Ignis were here, he’d tell him not to dwell on the past though.

He paused. His phone vibrated with a notification from Ignis.

 **[Ignis 04:24]** I’m astonished you’re awake so early. It is nice to hear from you. I wasn’t sure if I overstepped by contacting you so suddenly. The man I was with today is not my boyfriend, nor will he ever be. That was Gladiolus, the president of the kendo society that I was in during university. You might remember me having mentioned him before? I’m surprised to learn you’ve chosen to live in the student dormitories for your final year and you’ve opted to fund your own accommodation. It sounds like you’re doing well.

Noctis smiled. He’d missed talking to Ignis and now to get the opportunity was everything to him. 

“Astral’s, please don’t let me mess this up...”

 **[Noctis 04:27]** Yeah I am. I did some thinking about what you said back you-know-when and I decided I needed to get my act together. I work part-time as a barista now and took out a student loan. I’m trying to spend my final year like a proper student or the authentic way, and dad’s supporting me by not supporting me if that makes sense? 

He bit his lip as he waited for another response. He didn’t want this to stop. He needed to find a way to keep Ignis talking because he was terrified he would never get this opportunity again.

 **[Ignis 04:31]** Oh, Noct. What I said to you that day was awful. It was said in a momentary lapse of judgement when I succumbed to frustration. Regardless, I think it’s commendable that you’ve taken on the responsibility to control your own life without relying entirely on your father. However, please don’t let my harsh words dictate how you go about your life. I’ve regretted what I said ever since I left. I know it is too little too late, but please accept my deepest apologies. You’ve always been my best friend and without you, my life hasn’t been the same.

Noctis swallowed and blinked to stop himself from crying. It was stupid. He’d cried for days six months ago and told himself he wouldn’t let himself cry again, but here he was, his eyes threatening to spill at any moment. 

How was he supposed to respond to that? Ignis had been right. There was nothing to apologise for in his eyes. 

**[Noctis 04:34]** I miss you.

There, he admitted it. Now he would find out if there was any chance of saving their friendship. 

**[Ignis 04:35]** The feeling is mutual. Perhaps we could meet one another? As friends, of course. 

**[Noctis 04:36]** That would be great! As friends. I would love that. It’d be great to see you again. As friends.

He reread his message, groaning at his own stupidity for saying as friends twice. Regardless, he would get to see Ignis again. Life couldn’t be better.

~

They’d agreed to meet the following week, but with a little asking around, it wasn’t too difficult to find out the café that Noctis worked at because there weren’t many near the campus. Perhaps he should have simply asked Noctis directly, but he didn’t want to come across too eager in the odd exchange that they shared. 

It wasn’t long until he encountered the kendo society members. He exchanged pleasantries and enquired how the society was now Gladiolus was no longer the president, even earned them both an invitation as alumni spectators today, but he politely declined. There was a reason he was in this part of the city for the first time in six months and he couldn’t lose focus.

He meandered the streets as the cafe came into view. From the outside, it looked quaint and quiet as most students were filtering in and out of the junk food establishment across the road. It was both a blessing and a curse. He had been hoping he could casually order a coffee to go while they had little time to converse because of the queue, but with only a handful of customers inside and no visible queue, he aborted the plan, turning to head back home before his shift at the restaurant began in a few hours.

“Iggy?”

He drew a breath, staring at the only person who called him by that nickname. 

Noctis looked nice, _very_ nice. He was dressed in black trousers, a white shirt with a black bowtie and his backpack casually slung on one shoulder. Ignis tried to greet him, but he couldn’t find his voice.

After all these months, Noctis was in front of him. Noctis. Noctis Caelum; the person he’d been in love with since before he even knew what love meant.

Ignis opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He’d never been this tongue-tied before. 

“Uh… this is kinda awkward… I, ummm… See you Friday?” Noctis said, his cheeks a light pink as he looked down at the ground.

“Forgive me. It was rude of me to stare,” Ignis rasped, accepting this had been a major mistake on his part. 

Noctis shrugged. “A bit…? But I guess you’ve never seen me in my uniform so…”

“Indeed. It suits you,” Ignis offered and glanced down at his watch for a distraction. When he looked up again, he saw the most beautiful blue eyes focused on him, looking at him through strands of black. He swallowed. If he stayed any longer, he would destroy the friendship they were only just beginning to repair. He glanced down at his watch once more for show. “Astrals… Is that the time already? I’ll let you get to work-”

“Actually, my shift doesn’t start until two. I was gonna chill and do some coursework first… unless you wanna get a coffee? It’s good.”

Ignis looked back at Noctis, noting the brief flash on hope in Noctis’ eyes before he returned to his usual nonchalant expression.

“I would like that, assuming you wouldn’t be too inconvenienced? I would hate to interrupt your studies...” 

Noctis shook his head, finally smiling at him. “Iggy, would I offer if I couldn’t afford to? I’m top of my class. Well, _some_ of my classes… Besides, the cafes always empty on a Tuesday so I’ll get some reading in between customers.”

“Well, in that case, I can’t decline.”

~

Why the hell did he put himself in this situation?!

Flustered, he pottered around behind the counter, making them drinks; a black coffee for Ignis and a latte for himself. Still, he was making stupid errors under the smirking faces of his friends.

“You gonna tell us about Glasses?” Aranea smirked, leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Noctis muttered, avoiding looking over at Ignis. The last thing he needed was for the girls to know ‘Glasses’ was someone special.

“I think it’s nice you’ve brought someone with you,” Luna smiled, serving two cream cakes on a plate. “Here. Go spend some time with your friend.”

Noctis stared at the plate in disbelief, looking between Luna and Aranea. Sure, Luna was the owner of the cafe, but he didn’t want to take advantage of her kindness. “Are you sure this is okay?”

Luna nodded. Her usual warm smile directed at him. “Of course… You look lonely whenever you think no one is watching, so please, spend time with your friend. I’ve nowhere else to be this afternoon so I can stay a little longer.”

Noctis blinked. His chest ached to hear that. He thought he’d been hiding his feelings well accept around Prompto, but it was kind of impossible around him because they were always in the same space. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, glancing in Ignis’ direction to find him distracted on his phone. Ignis’ brow was furrowed in the way that meant he was concentrating. He looked back at Luna, then Aranea and nodded before carrying everything over on a tray, taking a seat that kept his back to the counter. “Everything alright?” 

“... I’m not sure. There’s been a scheduling issue at work,” Ignis sighed, tapping hastily on his phone, then set it aside. “No matter. They can discuss it with me in person this evening.”

“You’re working after this?” Noctis asked, desperate for any glimpse into Ignis’ life. 

“I am. In fact, I work most evenings,” Ignis said, bringing the coffee to his lips. His expression was telling.

“You like it?” Noctis grinned, glad that he’d made their drinks rather than ordered them.

“Indeed. It’s delicious. Had I of known this cafe existed during my time studying I’d have visited frequently,” Ignis answered, taking another sip. 

“It’s been rebranded since you graduated… Used to be that weird place that only served strange tea from Accordo,” Noctis grimaced. 

“That’s it! I remember now. We came here once after the culinary conference and it was bloody awful,” Ignis laughed.

Noctis joined in, remembering happier times from his first year at university. “Yeah… just sucks that no one really comes here yet,” he said, picking up his cream cake and biting into it. Damn. These were so good.

Ignis’ joined him. His eyes lit up with the first bite. “These are delightful… The perfect balance of flaky pastry, with a soft centre…”

“Alright, calm down, Mister Chef. Luna makes them,” Noctis grinned. “She’s the one in white.” He saw Ignis glance in her direction.

“Ah. Then I must pay my compliments to her before I leave.” 

They finished their cakes in silence.

Noctis shuffled in his seat, feeling more nervous with each second that passed with neither of them speaking. This was everything he’d wanted for the past six months and now Ignis was actually here, he was struggling to say any of the things on his mind.

“How long have you worked here?” Ignis eventually asked and before drinking his coffee. 

“Uhhh… since about the second week into my third year… I was lucky. So many students interviewed for it… Dad offered me a job in admin, but I thought I rely on him too much… so, uh… well, you know the rest…”

“Noct…”

He looked up, met by guilt. “It’s fine-”

“No. No, it’s not. I…” Ignis readjusted his glasses and took a deep breath before looking up once more. “I’m sincerely sorry for everything I said back then. I took my frustration out on you when you were the one person who remained by my side no matter what. While I commend your efforts of taking responsibility, I hope it’s not only because of my crass actions. You’re remarkable. You always have been. I am the one at fault in this situation.” 

“Oh. Uh…” Noctis scratched the back of his neck. He hadn’t expected anything like that today. “Well, you were kinda right, you know? I was just mindlessly going through life, not really putting much effort in because I knew I was guaranteed to go into dad’s company, but… well, now I’m not so sure I wanna…”

Ignis’ eyes drew together. “What do you intend to do?”

Noctis bit his lip. He hadn’t really discussed his plans with anyone else besides Prompto. “I was thinking about taking a gap year. I want to get out of Insomnia, go fishing across Lucis, see stuff like Cauthess and Ravatogh. Prom’s a photography student so we were thinking about travelling to places like Altissia and Tenebrae to build up his portfolio…”

Ignis looked down at his coffee. His tone sombre as he spoke. “That sounds like an excellent way to bide your time until you figure out what you want.”

“Y-yeah,” Noctis forced out, his throat dry. “What about you? What do you want?”

~

When Noctis asked that question, his mind went blank except for one word.

_You._

Ignis’ fingers explored his mug of coffee as he stared at his reflection in the black liquid, contemplating his life. He’d inadvertently changed the course of Noctis’ life because of his thoughtless comments, and now he was being left behind for better pastures. It was what he deserved, but it didn’t stop the realisation from hurting. 

“It sounds as though you’ve found a good friend,” Ignis offered and took another sip of his coffee, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

“Yeah. Yeah, I have,” Noctis agreed, finishing his latte. “He’s awesome. You’d like him. He’s a bit of a dork, but I guess he’s become my best friend… We go to gaming cons and stuff… Honestly, I’m just enjoying having someone around who likes games and comics just as much as I do. What about you? Any friends at work?”

Ignis shook his head with a weak smile. “The kitchen hasn’t proved a good place to meet like-minded people.”

Noctis frowned. “... Do you not like your job?”

Ignis drew a breath. This was far more than just his lack of job satisfaction, but he couldn’t allow himself to voice everything. Not to Noctis. Now they were finally talking again, he couldn’t mess this up and ruin his chances of them ever becoming friends again. 

“It’s more that I don’t like the direction my life has taken. Yes, I have a lovely apartment, but it feels empty and has no semblance of home. I’m also fortunate to be financially stable, but my employment is the cause for most of my low episodes. While I enjoy the aspect of creating new dishes and presenting them to the highest standard, I didn’t gain my masters to endlessly produce grilled trevally and chips… it doesn’t challenge me.”

Ignis sighed, hanging his head in his hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for my situation to come out quite like that.”

“Nah… it’s fine, Iggy. Sounds like you needed to vent and uh, I’m always here for you to get stuff off your chest… you know, if you don’t need advice…”

“Still lack wisdom?” Ignis teased. His lip quirked slightly.

“You know me,” he grinned. “Want another coffee?”

Ignis tilted his head, thinking about the best course of action. “I feel on this occasion I must decline, but thank you for inviting me. It’s been enjoyable catching up with you.”

“Yeah, you too, Specs.”

~

“You what?!”

“I had coffee with Iggy,” Noctis repeated with a grin as he threw himself onto his bed and pointed toward his backpack. “I brought dinner. Had a load of leftover sandwiches so I got to bring them home.”

Prompto launched over to the bag, helping himself to the free food. “Did you confess your undying love?” He asked with his mouth full.

Noctis rolled his eyes, turning to look at the computer. Time for a change of subject. “You been editing?”

“Dude. You’re not getting out of this. I wanna know everything. You’ve been moping around about him for months and now the star-crossed lovers are reunited-”

“We’re not getting back together…”

“But you wanna, right?”

“You know I do, but he closed up when we started talking about the future… I dunno what goes on in his head anymore… Wanna play King’s Knight?”  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out that I'm not the only one who likes a bit of pain. Next chapter will return to present day :D
> 
> Also, I'm blown away comparing my chapter from 2018 to this one I finished today. I never thought my writing had improved but wow o.O I know I still make mistakes but dyslexia, what dyslexia? XD

_Six months previously_

“Ugh… for fuck's sake. Not again…” Noctis groaned, throwing his head back in defeat. He’d been trying to defeat this boss for the best part of the day and every damn time it takes cheap shots, wiping his party instantly. 

He’d been waiting for the next instalment in this franchise for _years_ , and he’d even got it two weeks early thanks to his dad pulling some strings with the industry bigwigs he knew. Sure, he was grateful for getting the game ahead of everyone else, not that this was the first time he’d had this privilege thanks to people trying to get into his dad's good graces, but sending him this unbeatable crap, really? That was some crappy strategy there. 

With his family’s influence, he could have seriously pulled the developer in some good marketing. All he had to do was go on to his public mooglebook and mention how much fun it was, but he couldn’t even say that at this point. 

He glanced at the digital clock on the wall, surrounded by a projection of stars; also known as the coolest clock ever. It was nearly eight, so he had about half an hour before Ignis would be home based on his normal Thursday schedule. That would give him just enough time for one last crack at the boss and a quick ten minute clean up to get all the crisp packets and empty cans off the floor. 

His diet was appalling. He knew that, but he didn’t need Ignis ramming that argument down his throat yet again. Thankfully, if all his stuff was in the bin by the time his boyfriend got home, Ignis didn’t mention it, so he’d learnt to be a bit more sneaky about his habit lately. Though, he was pretty certain Ignis knew.

Noctis re-tried from the beginning of the battle again. Everything was going great for ten minutes. His reflexes were on point, and he’d nailed down the bosses attack pattern. He knew exactly when to dodge, when to attack, when to heal-

“What the hell?! Come on?! You gotta be kidding me, you stupid piece of junk!”

He launched the controller across the room, hearing something smash. At this point, he couldn’t really care. He’d just call his dad and buy a new whatever it is. Everything was replaceable, and the flat was in his name anyway, so Ignis couldn’t get too annoyed.

Flopping back on the sofa, he slung one arm over his face as the other reached down to the floor for the tv remote, fumbling it a few times before finally grabbing it and turning the tv off. The less he saw of that garbage, the better.

He felt so frustrated. What was the point of waiting all this time, being _excited_ ever since the announcement of this title, like five years ago, only for it to be this much of a disappointment? It felt like wasted time. He felt cheated. Hell, he was just glad he didn’t have to pay for this rubbish.

Once his mood had settled, he moved his arm, glancing at the clock. Good. It was only eight-fifteen, so he had fifteen minutes until Ignis-

Noctis froze. 

He could hear the keys turning in the front door down the hall. 

What the hell?! That made no sense. Ignis was meticulous about timekeeping. He was like the most organised person Noctis knew, squeezing as much in a day as possible, for ‘maximum efficiency’. So Ignis coming home fifteen minutes off his ridiculously precise schedule meant something was up. 

Noctis scrambled onto his feet, regretting having all the blinds down and no lights on to add the atmosphere of his game because now he was left blindly grabbing at anything that looked remotely like rubbish and darting over to the rubbish bin, stuffing it all inside.

“Noct?”

“Yeah?” he responded, sounding casual, trying to come up with a reason for the apartment being in total darkness. He just didn’t want a lecture about gaming in the dark again and how it’ll ruin his eyes. Until he needed glasses, all was good in his world.

When he heard the flick of the light switch, Noctis jumped out from behind the kitchen counter, complete with jazz hands. “Surprise!” He didn’t look around at the apartment, because he didn’t want to give Ignis reason to be suspicious about what he’d been up to, but judging by the crestfallen look Ignis offered him, he’d clearly fucked up somewhere. “Iggy?”

“Is surprise really all you have to say to me?” Ignis asked, scanning the room before focusing on Noctis. “After the day I’ve had, you think me coming home to a pigsty is the surprise I was looking forward to? If you wanted to surprise me, at least clean up after yourself and fulfil your promises.” 

Noctis held his hands up in the air in a mercy gesture, speechless. Ignis always kissed him when he got home from university or his part-time job. Always. It left him staring dumbfounded as Ignis walked over to the dining table, unloading his black leather satchel onto its surface. 

Nothing was said for a few moments, not until Ignis sighed at least.

“Honestly, Noct, look at this place... Did you think I wouldn’t notice crisps trodden into the carpet and empty cans down the side of the sofa? My expectations coming home after you’ve been home alone have never been high, but this is ridiculous even by your standards.”

Noctis grimaced, looking at the sofa where he’d spent the day. In all fairness to Ignis, it didn’t look good. He briefly caught Ignis looking in his direction, but he looked away before Noctis could try to tease the tensions with a smile or something. “Okay, I agree... I haven’t exactly been on top of stuff today. Look, I’m sorry. I was just about to clean the apartment. I was gonna get the hoover-”

“Can you even operate it?”

“Uh… well, I…” Noctis bit his lip. The answer was no. He’d never used it because Ignis did all the hoovering, but it couldn’t be that hard, could it? Just unravel the cable and push a button. “Yeah. Course I can. I cleaned the kitchen on valentine’s day to give you the night off, remember? That was basically the same thing…”

“That was a steam cleaner which I believe you called an ‘electric mop’, Noct. Seriously, how spoilt can you be that you cannot tell these things apart?” Ignis’ tone was icy, but his glare was even worse. Noctis could feel it piercing him through the chest. It sent a ripple of fear through him. He wasn’t normally on the receiving end of Ignis’ judgement.

“In my defence, if I want a cleaner, I’ll just hire one, Ignis. It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal? How insightful to how your mind works, Noctis,” Ignis said, humming to himself. 

Noctis flinched. Ignis calling him Noctis outside of the bedroom was never good. 

“And is that what I am to you? Your personal cleaner? Let’s throw in butler while we’re at it because ever since we’ve moved in together all the chores have fallen onto my shoulders. Maybe I should begin addressing you as ‘Highness’. Would that be to your liking?” Ignis snapped, taking his empty bag back out into the hallway and hanging it up. 

Noctis held his tongue, waiting for Ignis to return. There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn’t want this escalating, not when he knew he’d lose one on one with Ignis. 

Did Ignis seriously think he had no flaws himself?

Ignis reappeared, standing in the doorway with his arms folded and hip jutted out to the side. Waiting. His expression daring Noctis to answer back. “Do not I deserve an explanation as to what my title is towards you?” 

Noctis stared at him for a moment. Waiting for this to all be some weird joke, but that moment never arrived. Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. What the hell was he supposed to say? The truth was that, yeah; he did kinda see Ignis as the homemaker, and himself as the breadwinner. 

It’s just, that was how it always was in the Caelum family. His dad was the money earner, his mum was the trophy wife on his dad’s hip. The same could be said for his grandparents too. It was just normal in high society. Ignis was his handsome trophy husband.

Maybe he had to be a little more progressive?

Noctis nodded, looking at Ignis sincerely. “Iggy, I’ll try harder, okay? I’ve just had a stressful day-”

“You’ve had a stressful day?”

Noctis’ eyes narrowed, studying Ignis. He couldn’t understand why everything he said was being thrown back at him tonight like Ignis had some murderous intent against him. He didn’t get where this mood was coming from.

Looking around the room, Noctis’ gaze fell on the TV, mind filling with the frustration at being bested by a game. “Yeah… it was kinda stressful.”

“More so than mine?”

Noctis shrugged, taking a step towards Ignis, but Ignis held out a hand to stop him and he backed down. Ignis loved all the hearts and flowers stuff. If he could just give the guy a hug and some kisses, maybe a little bit of something else in the bedroom too, then this would blow over for sure. He just had to find an opportunity. 

“Okay, how’s this. I will do my fair share of the cleaning, you’ve just gotta remind me when it needs doing and stop jumping on it straight away. The dirty dishes aren’t gonna spread mould spores everywhere if they’re left in the sink overnight-”

Ignis grimaced. “That’s disgusting, Noct. The last thing I want to wake up to in the morning is the washing up, because you’ll still be in bed when I start my day, and it’ll be me dancing around it in the kitchen,” he said, setting about tidying up, grabbing every item off the floor in an overdramatic fashion. 

“Well, I dunno… That was a bad example. I’ll hoover the floor-”

“We’ve already established you can’t distinguish a hoover from a steam cleaner,” Ignis glared, standing in front of Noctis, with hands full of his rubbish.

Noctis took a step back. “I’m sorry, Iggy. I’ll…” He’ll what? He wasn’t sure. 

Noctis bit his lip, staring at his bare feet, half-covered by his pyjama bottoms. He hadn’t bothered getting dressed all day because it didn’t seem like there was any point now his second year of university had wrapped up last week. Each day just kind of blended into the next, and time didn’t really exist anymore. His day was structured with games he could play when Ignis was out, and well, his evenings were filled with Ignis and sex and stuff… 

Noctis took a deep breath, holding it a moment before releasing and looking up at Ignis. Noctis’ hair was overgrown and tickling below his nose, but he could see Ignis through the black strands, and he was kind of glad it offered him a shield right now. 

“Iggy, if you could just tell me what I did wrong, then I’ll fix it, okay? There’s no point being angry at me when it’s not gonna help me understand,” his voice was small because he knew he was in the wrong somewhere down the line. He wasn’t sure what he’d done, but he knew Ignis, his loving, devoted Ignis, would never act like this without reason. 

Ignis huffed, shaking his head in what seemed like held back rage. Hell, he was smiling because he was so angry. 

“What did I do, Iggy?”

“You’ve truly no idea? None whatsoever?” Ignis asked, storming over to the rubbish bin and stuffing everything inside. Only, he looked over his shoulder, eyes darker than before. “Why is my salt shaker shattered into pieces and your controller beside it covered in salt?”

Oh, shit.

“It was an accident. I swear! I’ll buy you a new-”

“No, you won’t! Money can’t replace things with sentimental value, Noctis Caelum. I know in your world money solves everything, but to people like me, we don’t see money as something streaming out of daddy’s pocket whenever we want it-”

“Hey, that’s not fair! I don’t see my dad as a cash machine. It’s normal to accept what’s given to us by our parents-”

“Like my salt shaker? One of the few things I have left from my parents?” Ignis questioned in a shrill tone. “My parents are both _dead_ , Noctis. They’re never coming back, and money can’t just _replace_ my feelings of owning something my parents used to use on our dinner table every night.”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t realise. Let me clean it for you,” Noctis begged, jumping over the island countertop to get to Ignis faster, but a swift hand pressed to his chest pushed him away and he stumbled back. 

“You’ve done enough, Noctis…” Ignis near on snarled, holding Noctis’ gaze. “I’m fed up with your childish tantrums every time you play one of those waste of times on the TV. Just because you have to work for the outcome you want and it’s not handed to you on a platter doesn’t mean you should lash out at the first sign it’s difficult. Now, before I say anything I’ll regret, get out of my sight and let me clean up.”

Noctis blinked, standing motionless as it sunk in that he wasn’t wanted this evening.

Ignis had never rejected him before. 

He didn’t know what to do.

Taking a shaky step backwards, his eyes darted towards the doorway, but he looked at Ignis once last time, before he rushed towards it.

He didn’t look back. He just ran into the hallway, threw on a coat long enough to hide he was in pyjamas and slipped on some shoes, dashing out the front door. 

He kept running, no idea where he was going, but before long he found himself where he always did when he needed to let off steam; the arcade. This had always been his sanctuary, and it was easy to distract himself. Presumably, the staff here were so used to seeing him in cosplay they didn’t bat an eyelid at his attire. Either that or they didn’t care what he wore because he could easily spend several hundred gil, sometimes thousands, in a single night if he fancied it.

It didn’t matter. 

He just needed to bide his time for Ignis to calm down from his mood, which seemingly came from nowhere.

~

Ignis picked up the tiny shards of ceramic, lamenting his salt shakers loss. It was one of the few trinkets he still owed of his parents. Their loss still left a painful wound in his heart, one that would never be filled, so to lose yet another part of them opened the wound wider, leaving a gaping hole, and emotions spilling out. 

He’d never lost his temper like that at Noctis before, and normally he’d put up with all his boyfriend’s less than admirable qualities. He loved Noctis. He really did, but some days it was harder than others to remember why he loved him. Some days he even asked himself if they’d settled for each other because a relationship between them was convenient. 

Noctis was his first friend and his best friend. They came from different walks of life, but it never seemed to matter to Noctis, and Ignis admired his nonjudgemental attitude. To this day, Noctis was the only person he could swear an oath to do anything for, but ever since moving in together, he had been insufferable. Even more so now that he’d completed year two of his business degree and had nothing to fill his time with. 

Ignis had suggested Noctis take a job. Noctis said there was no point as his dad would hire him no matter what his CV looked like at the end of university. He’d held his tongue at that because as heir to the company, it was Noctis’ right to enter the company after graduation. 

When that suggestion failed, Ignis suggested Noctis travel and see Lucis outside of Insomnia. Noctis said that was too much effort and if he had to go somewhere, he’d just ask his chauffeur to take him. Even learning to drive for himself posed too much effort. Again, Ignis held his tongue because that was the life Noctis was used to, though Ignis hoped to open Noctis’ mind to doing things for himself in time. It was his fault for pushing the matter too soon.

Ignis’ final suggestion was for Noctis to get a head start on his final year dissertation, a responsible decision that would see his final year burden lightened somewhat down the line. But no. Noctis said summer holidays were called holidays for a reason and that meant he could do anything he wanted until autumn term began. Again, Ignis held his tongue. He knew he was one of the rare students that liked to finish assignments with plenty of time left to spare, while Noctis’ study habits could only be described as procrastination until the night before a due date then cramming until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. 

Despite all this, Noctis had qualities Ignis loved. He was just too blinkered to remember them tonight. 

With his beloved salt shaker in the bin, and a tear shed, Ignis stood up to look at the pepper shaker. He reached out to touch it, turning it around in his hands, feeling its weight, noting the two little chips in its base from years of usage. He paid no mind to the pepper falling onto the counter. For once, it was his mess he would have to clean up and not Noctis’.

The pepper shaker looked lonely not having a companion, and just staring at the shaker reminded him of his loss. It was like having one parent without the other, and that was a thought he didn’t want to linger on. Resigning to accept that the feeling would pass, he opened the drawer where they kept random objects that had nowhere else to go and placed it inside, closing the drawer again with a thud. 

Anger flared in him again as he caught sight of his paperwork on the dining table; the thesis that he’d spent the last year on. It was a work of passion with agonising hours spent distinguishing blends and flavours, writing into the early hours of the morning about how the causal relationship between humans and food. Delving into the psychology behind everything humans consume. He’d always had an interest in psychology, and his masters allowed him to combine his two interests. 

Food was a basic human requirement, and yet, it was so much more than that. His father had always taught him that food was love; a work of art. There was a reason that food was known as a way to a man’s heart, and it was connections like those that he’d researched tirelessly. He’d spent hours upon hours figuring out the perfect recipes and presentations to incite feelings of love, to ease the feelings of depression… There was so much left to explore, but he needed to continue his work into his doctorate for that.

To him, his thesis had been about more than a means of obtaining a qualification. It was a way of connecting with his father. It was the start of his career, not only following in his father’s footsteps as a chef but taking his father's beliefs about the power of food and backing them with empirical evidence. He was so proud of what he’d achieved, accidentally becoming a psychologist alongside a chef. His research niche, and likely would go unnoticed given the Scientia family name held little social standing, nor had their family produced anyone in a psychological field before, and connections were everything in this field.

That brings him to this afternoon. Once his thesis presentation had finished, and he gathered his things practically bounding out the room, ready to scoop Noctis up in his arms and cover him in kisses, whispering words of love and affection, to _thank_ him for his endless support and patience over the years, and he wasn’t there like they’d agreed, he felt forgotten. His worth felt insignificant because he knew what Noctis would be doing with his free time all summer. Noctis would be playing video games.

At first, Ignis chastised himself, convincing himself that he’d jumped to conclusions. There was no way his boyfriend of several years - neither of them knew when they began dating as it happened so seamlessly - would forget him on a day like this. Noctis was everything to him. The first person he saw in the morning and the last person he saw at night. He’d been there through all his ups and downs. Noctis was his biggest supporter, encouraging him to reach for the moon when no one else believed in him. So why would his charming, albeit frustrating boyfriend, forget him on such a special day? 

Five minutes passed. No sign of him.

Ten minutes passed. No sign of him still. No call. No text. Not even a message over the gaming chat-

Ignis’ lips pressed in a firm line. One online player: LiegeOfTheLake. 

Noctis had forgotten him. The one person who he thought would never forget him had done so. 

Ignis didn’t bother sending a message. He didn’t want to interrupt Noctis from what he deemed took precedence in his life. 

At least he had one other person he could depend on; Gladiolus Amicitia. His kendo president turned good friend. It was kendo tonight anyway, but he’d opted to not attend so he could celebrate the success of his presentation with Noctis. At least he could let out some frustration, and he could rely on Gladio not to go easy on him. 

~

When Noctis finally returned home it was only because his conscience got the better of him. Ignis had told him money didn’t fix things and in less than two hours he’d blown nearly three thousand gil gambling. 

It had been a stupid decision, and normally he wouldn’t gamble, but he’d tried to play his usual shooting games and couldn’t concentrate on the screen because his mind was too preoccupied with what had happened with Ignis. He’d only ventured into the over eighteen’s section because his dad looked so cool when he was gambling in a casino, and well, he kind of wanted to look that cool and collected too. Pyjamas ruined the illusion, though. 

“Iggy?” Noctis’ voice was quiet as he kept into the pitch-black apartment. His guilt from his evenings pursuits not helping. “Iggy…?”

He didn’t get a response. 

Shrugging off his coat, Noctis hung it up besides Ignis’. Biting his lip, he slipped his hand into Ignis’ coat pocket, checking his keys were still inside and relief washed over him. At least that meant the silence in the apartment meant Ignis was probably in bed. 

How wrong he was.

He flicked the switch in the lounge, breath catching in his throat at the sight of Ignis, sat at the dining table, staring blankly at a pile of ripped up paper scattered across the table and the surrounding area. 

“Ignis, what happened?” Noctis asked, walking closure, each step hesitant, expecting Ignis to glare at him, halting him in his tracks, but Ignis didn’t so much as blink. “Iggy, you’re scaring me. What’s up-”

“Do you even care to hear my answer? Or will it go ignored as well?”

Noctis swallowed as emerald eyes narrowed on him. Judging him. Weighing his worth. He didn’t like this.

“Iggy, you know I care about you. I’ll always listen to you-”

“Like you listened to me this afternoon?”

Noctis tilted his head, lost and confused. Before the argument, he hadn’t seen Ignis since breakfast and everything had been fine then, so he remained silent. He took a seat opposite Ignis at the dining table, eyeing all the shreds of paper. Whatever this document had been, Ignis clearly hated it.

“Ah, it seems you don’t remember,” this time Ignis laughed, wearing that beautiful smile he did whenever they were together sharing moments of love. “I was referring to us at university this afternoon. How when I kissed you, I could tell just by how you kissed me back that you knew exactly what my thoughts and feelings were. I whispered words of love and affection into your ear and you shivered in pleasure, looking at me bashfully, because you knew what would come next. What _always_ happens next when we got too mushy with one another. You were so adorable, telling me to stop being silly because you didn’t need that much of a reward, but I didn’t listen. I kissed you again between whispers, thanking you for being there for me. Thanking you for loving me even when I was low on caffeine and insufferable. Thanking you for coming to meet me from my thesis presentation today.”

Noctis eyes widened in horror. He’d forgotten about the presentation even though they’d been speaking about this for weeks, _months_ even. Ignis had even been jittery around the apartment this morning out of nerves. 

How the hell could he forget?!

They’d planned a meal. They’d had a reservation at one of the most elusive restaurants in Insomnia that they’d only got because of his father booked it…

He felt awful.

He’d fucked up.

He had no idea how to recover from this. 

Noctis shook his head, tears already threatening to spill. “Iggy, I swear, it was an accident. I didn’t mean to forget. I… Oh my Astrals… Let me make this up to you-”

“No, Noctis. I’m not interested,” Ignis cut in, though he didn’t sound angry, only tired. “I’ve had enough of being treated as though I’m expendable and only wanted when it-”

“Iggy, you’re not. I love you-”

“-suits you. You’re the most spoilt and indolent person I know. You won’t lift a finger for anything but your own desires, never giving a second thought for those around you-”

“You’ve got it all wrong. It’s not like that!” Noctis grabbed his hair, pulling on it like a child. Eyes wide with panic. “I love you, Iggy. You gotta believe that…”

Ignis hummed. Expression lifeless. “Don’t say those words to me, Noctis Caelum. If you loved me, you’d remember me after I’ve left the house, and not proceed to carelessly break my belongings when I’m not here to supervise you.”

“That was an accident!” Noctis leant forward, trying to get Ignis’ attention. He reached a hand out to touch Ignis’, but he was pushed away, sending what seemed like hundreds of ripped pieces of paper into the air. 

He watched them flutter around them both, falling like snow, only it wasn’t beautiful. It hurt. 

Ignis wasn’t the type of person to destroy something, not like this at least. Knowing Ignis had sat here and ripped whatever the document was into so many pieces, it was so out of character, Noctis didn’t know where to begin making sense of it. He felt a new wave of pain, wondering if it was Ignis’ thesis, but surely he wouldn’t rip that up? That had felt like Ignis’ baby this past year, because he was always doing something with it. He always spoke so passionately about his topic. Honestly, Noctis found it boring. Food is food. But he respected Ignis’ dedication, because he knew it was something he would never had the patience for himself.

A tear rolled down his cheek.

Ignis looked away.

“My salt shaker… I know you can’t quite understand where I’m coming from because you’ve never shown sentimentality towards inanimate objects as I do, but that was precious and irreplaceable to me… and to find you’d damaged it in another one of your childish outbursts… I don’t know what to think anymore,” Ignis paused, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m beginning to give up all hope that you can ever mature and be a responsible adult.”

Noctis bit his knuckle. He’d fucked up so bad. “All I can say is I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough, Noctis. Not this time,” Ignis said, voice calm and collected, but his gaze that now met Noctis’ was showing how serious Ignis was. “I work tirelessly for you. For us. For our future children… If I’m not at university or doing coursework, I’m at work earning a living. The only time I have to myself is the few hours I share with you before bed. Time that I specially schedule so that you never feel neglected while I work towards creating a future for the pair of us. Bettering myself so that I’m worthy of the affection of the only heir to the Caelum household.”

“And I’m thankful, but you don’t need to do all this, Iggy. Even if you quit your job-”

“That’s out of the question,” Ignis interrupted.

Noctis ran a hand through his hair. Yeah, he should have guessed as much. “Okay, that was a terrible example, but theoretically, we wouldn’t be any worse off.”

“I refuse to leech off your father,” Ignis snapped, focus darkening on Noctis. “Do you know how much I loathe that about you? You’ve never worked a day in your life because you refuse to grow up and act like an adult. One day, things won’t be served to you on a platter and you’ll be so unequipped to handle it that you’ll fail, then you’ll throw a tantrum, and it’ll be up to me to pick up the pieces, solving your mess yet again. When will you wake up and realise how mollycoddled you’ve been and see you’ve been conditioned to have anything at your whim?”

“Wow, owch… So not only are you insulting me, you’re being a dick towards my dad?” Noctis said, rolling his eyes. “That’s low, Ignis.”

Ignis sat back, looking unaffected by such call out. “I speak the truth. It’s not my fault if the truth is a hard pill for you to swallow.”

Noctis shook his head, scoffing as he looked at Ignis. “Is this some kind of jealousy? Because I’ve got a dad, and yours is dead? It’s not my fault no one looks after you anymore.”

The moment the words left his mouth, he knew he’d done wrong. 

Noctis slapped a hand over his mouth, watching the look in Ignis’ eye morph from indifference to pain to sheer disbelief. 

“How…? How could you say that to me when you know how much I’ve struggled to overcome the loss of my parents?” Ignis asked, lip quivering, but his teeth clamped it in place as his gaze fell to the table. He swallowed hard. “I’ve wasted my life on an obnoxious brat…”

Noctis moved around the table, wrapping his arms around Ignis from behind, surprised he wasn’t pushed away before he made contact, but it gave him a chance to kiss Ignis’ neck and hold him the way Noctis knew he liked. 

“Iggy, I swear, that wasn’t what I meant. I loved your parents. They meant so much to me, and I would never mean them disrespect, but you were insulting my dad and it just slipped out. I didn’t think… You know I’m an idiot when it comes to this stuff. It’s why I always default to you before I speak in public. I trust you more than me.”

“Get off me.”

Noctis shook his head. “No… I know you like this. You love my hugs… I love hugging you.”

Ignis pushed his chair back, jutting Noctis in the stomach. “Let. Go. Of. Me.”

“No, Iggy… If I do, I’m scared you’ll leave,” Noctis protested, holding on to Ignis for dear life. Tears cascaded down his cheeks, landing on Ignis’ shirt. He hated how much this felt like the end. “I _need_ you, Iggy.”

“Yet, I’ve no need of someone so intent on holding me back in my life,” Ignis snapped, standing up and tearing himself free of Noctis grasp. When he turned around, there were daggers in his eyes. “You’re always so ready to suggest I give up who I am because you can provide for us both that you’ve never once stopped to think about how important it is to me to have a life for myself. I want a career, one that has nothing to do with the Caelum family, and I will bloody well see that come to fruition even if making that happen it means leaving you behind.”

Noctis swallowed, wiping his tears away on his sleeve. “I never meant to stop you… I just… You’re always so stressed and we don’t see each other that much anymore-”

“Because we’re no longer children, Noctis. We haven’t all the hours in the day to play in the garden any more or waste away watching TV. Most of us have responsibilities and have learnt how undesirable clingy behaviour is,” Ignis said, turning away to towards the kitchen counter. 

Noctis followed his line of sight, confused by the lack of pepper shaker and the dusting of pepper that covered the counter. “I’m not clingy, I just like having you around.”

“So I can clean up after you? Cook for you? Organise your schedule?”

“I’ve never asked you to do any of that!”

“Because you didn’t have to. I did it out of love. My love for you meant I took on more than my fair share of tasks to see you happy. I sacrificed my time, so you didn’t have to,” Ignis drew a breath, looking at Noctis once more. This time he looked close to tears.

Noctis went to reach out, but Ignis stepped back. 

“Don’t Noctis. I don’t want you to touch me again. There’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind, because I realise I’m better than this. I deserve more than what you give me. Unlike so many people that have fallen at your feet, in love with your money, I fell in love with you, and it blinded me. I’ve never wanted your money, only your time. It’s the only precious commodity you seem to recognise because your unlimited money holds no value to you.

“You know, Noct. Today, when I walked out of my presentation, all I wanted was to see you, and admire that beautiful bashful smile you wear for me… I envisioned myself holding you against me, whispering sweet nothings about how grateful I am to have you as my boyfriend. For the first time in our lives, I hoped you would say you’re proud of me.”

“I _am_ proud of you. I’m always proud of you… You’ve always been the best part about me.”

“And what does that say about you?”

“Huh?”

“If the best part of you is me, an entirely different person, then what does that say about you?”

Noctis opened his mouth to respond, but let it closed again. How could he respond when Ignis said that? He’d always just assumed they were one and the same. There was no Noctis, without his Ignis and vice versa, for as long as he could remember. They were in all of each other's childhood photos. They’d been inseparable since they’d first met. Noctis had always gone to the same schools as Ignis, forgoing private school just so he could be with Ignis every day. He didn’t even know he’d fallen in love with Ignis because it happened so gradually.

“I don’t know who I am without you,” Noctis answered earnestly. 

He heard Ignis mutter something under his breath. Something about him being ‘childish even now’.

It felt like a stab to his heart for being himself. 

When Ignis started towards the hallway, Noctis chased after him, wrapping his arms so tight around Ignis that he was being dragged along. 

“Iggy, don’t go. I messed up today, but I can make it up to you if you let me. I need you in my life… What can I do to make you stay?”

“It’s too late, Noctis...” Ignis said, prying Noctis fingers apart and slipping out of his grip. He turned to look at Noctis, face blank as though he’d already checked out of the conversation. “... because I am through with this relationship and I am through with you. It might take time, but I will find someone who will value me and not see me as an afterthought.”

The sound of Ignis slamming the front door behind him ringing in his ears, echoing around their apartment. The apartment that he was always quick to call his when Ignis chastised him over something, but it had always been theirs, really. It was their first home together. This was the beginning of their forever.

Or it had been. 

Now he was alone. 

And the silence deafening.

He couldn’t think.

He couldn’t move. 

He couldn’t look away from the door Ignis left through.

For the first time in his life, he felt powerless. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to just take a minute and thank you all so much for the reaction I'm getting to this fic! It's such a great feeling knowing other people like what I'm writing. So, yeah, thank you so so soooooooooo much <3
> 
> We're back to present day now :D

~ Present ~

“Sooooo you gonna tell me how it’s going, with the Igster?” Prompto grinned, wriggling his eyebrows as he peered over Noctis’ shoulder and rested his weight on Noctis’ shoulders.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Noctis muttered trying to shrug Prompto off his back while protecting his screen. His cheeks were definitely rosy, and that gave him a reason to turn away, otherwise, this teasing would never end. This situation was already embarrassing without adding any further fuel. “Haven’t you got anything better to do?”

“Nope,” Prompto said, popping the p and inspecting what Noctis was doing even closer now. “Awww… buddy, you’ve gone all pink. Someone’s got a crush~”

“Dude, Iggy’s always been my crush, it’s nothing new,” Noctis responded, sliding his phone away in his pocket and pushing Prompto off him. “Anyway, nothing’s really happened between us.”

“Yet.”

“Uhhh…” Noctis turned away, scratching the back of his neck. He couldn’t really deny that he wanted something to happen between them. It felt like every night this week he’d dreamt about Ignis. He’d even gone back to their old apartment.

Big mistake.

The apartment was vacant and dusty and smelled weird, like a museum that no one cared about maintaining. Furniture was still organised how it had been when he’d moved out and back into his dad’s house for the summer. The bin stank given no one had emptied it and he dreaded to think how much worse it would be when it does eventually get disturbed. Whatever Ignis had torn to pieces still laid scattered around the floor, and the unexplained dusting of pepper was still on the kitchen countertop.

He’d even wandered into their bedroom just to see if Ignis had ever returned to collect his things, but his wardrobe was undisturbed and his bedside cabinet still had his spare pair of glasses on top. Noctis, however, had a half-used bottle of lube with the cap off still sat on his bedside cabinet. That there was a prime example of their differences in classiness. 

After seeing what felt like a tomb of the old him, the old _them_ , he never wanted to return again, but he owned the apartment and his dad wasn’t willing to sell it and buy him another one. It was meant to be their first home, to see them through university and possibly more, maybe until they settled down more officially, but because of his own childish behaviour, and self-centred attitude, they’d only lived here two years with Ignis, losing both their first home and the most precious man in existence. 

Thankfully, the apartment was in a prime city location so there was no doubt it that if he put it on the market, it would be snapped up, but even if he sold it himself he’d have to hire a cleaner and have it seriously deep cleaned before any potential viewers were allowed in. 

Seeing its sorry state, it was easy to see how much he’d unvalued Ignis’ part in keeping it presentable and liveable at all times. Ignis had done so much without complaint, and Noctis had never once spared a thought for his then-boyfriend. 

He was ashamed of himself.

“You okay there, bro? You’ve gone kinda vacant?”

Noctis blinked, pushing Prompto’s hand away that was waving in front of his eyes. “Yeah… I’m good. Just... thinking.”

“Owch. Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Piss off. Idiot,” Noctis laughed, getting up from their shared desk and stretching. He’d been working on coursework all morning since Prompto’s ridiculously early jogging alarm woke him up and his bum felt numb. Who really needed to jog before the rest of the world had even got out of bed?

Prompto slung his arm around Noctis, pulling him back. “So, what we gonna do today? I got word of the anime society taking over the student union bar-”

“ _We_ are doing nothing. _I_ am going to class…” Noctis laughed, though the anime society sounded like a blast. It gave him an excuse to geek out, and no one thought he was weird. “… Anyway, haven’t you got class too?”

“Nah… I’m wasting time until tonight. I got the studio booked at six, so I’m basically just lounging around until then. You gotta go to class now, or you got some time to hang?” Prompto asked, stifling a yawn. 

Noctis ducked, slipping out of Prompto grasp. “Well, you could always do your washing. Your socks are stinking the room out, but yeah… class starts in like, twenty minutes?” He shrugged, glancing up at the clock. “Oh, shit! Gotta dash!”

He grabbed his backpack, hoping everything he needed was in there and sprinted across campus to get to his lecture theatre. His feet pounding against the pavement, sending shock waves up his legs. He never used to run like this, but living in the budget dormitory meant he was located the furthest away from campus and normally it wasn’t so bad as it made him reluctantly exercise, but when he’d lost track of time and only had ten minutes to get to his lecture? Yeah. It was a nightmare.

Thankfully, he was lucky today, sliding into the back of the lecture theatre along with a few other students just as his lecturer began his introduction. He by far wasn’t the last to enter, but this lecturer was one of the strictest he had and he knew if he didn’t want his grades to mysteriously slip in this subject, he couldn’t be late again this half term. 

He had a class straight after, but the tutor was notorious for not starting until ten past the hour. No one knew why. No one questioned it either.

Sat at his usual computer next to the exchange student from Tenebrae, Noctis logged into mooglebook, making the window small so no one else could see his private profile. Everyone had access to his public one, he had to have one because of who he was, but his private one only had a few people that he gave a damn about and he wasn’t interested in everyone discovering it. 

Before he knew what he was doing, he’d typed in ‘Ignis Scientia’ and clicked on his profile. He hadn’t meant to. In fact, he deliberately tried not to normally. They still haven’t friended each other, but Noctis had thought about it every time he logged on and hovered the cursor over the button several times, chickening out every time. It seemed kind of trivial really, but he wanted to make things work and last between them this time and the best way he could think to do that was by being patient and not rush like the impetus child he’d always been. 

It came as no surprise that Ignis’ profile was full of research articles and photos of food he’d made. It was professional, and the layout was so Ignis. There was even a link to the restaurant he worked at, which Noctis still hadn’t visited, but maybe he could go seen as Ignis had visited the café he worked at. He shelved the thought for later, instead focusing on Ignis’ profile photo. Ignis had changed it from the last time Noctis had looked, and he recognised it. Surely Ignis hadn’t forgotten when that photo was taken? Ignis didn’t forget things ever, right?

In the photo, Ignis was smiling, looking carefree as he sat on the pier at Galdin Quay, holding a glass of red wine. He had rosy cheeks from the alcohol, and his focus was just left of the camera. Noctis had taken it when they’d been on a trip to Galdin for the weekend to celebrate both Ignis’ twenty-first birthday and Valentine’s day the week after. 

Maybe Ignis just liked the photo? But it seemed strange. Ever since their breakup, all Ignis’ profile photo’s had looked professional without a hint of his personality, so it made him wonder if there was a reason for this exact photo to be Ignis’ new profile picture? Especially when in a month's time Ignis would turn twenty-three, so it was already nearing two years old.

When the tutor came in, Noctis logged out and focused on the class. Or more accurately, he _tried_ to focus on the class, but his mind kept thinking about that photo. Ignis looked so much happier and relaxed and beautiful and-

Oh. The class was over.

Well, damn.

He headed back towards his dorm room given he had nothing left to do today, halting outside the main campus entrance. 

Standing in the middle of the picnic area surrounded by a group of guys and a couple of girls, all laughing without a care in the world, was Gladio. They’d never spoken in person and he couldn’t exactly go over and say hi, but knowing Gladio was Ignis’ friend and probably closer to Ignis at the moment than him made him a little jealous. He assumed the group was the kendo society given how they all seemed fairly well built, and well, not scrawny like him.

In hindsight, he kinda wished he’d joined with Ignis, but at the time, it seemed like more effort than it was worth and just swinging a bamboo sword around repeatedly seemed a bit… boring? He could remember Ignis always treating his sword with the highest respect, never even letting Noctis touch it. Noctis had made the mistake once of swinging it around and pretending to be a ninja. Safe to say, he was lucky Ignis didn’t end him that night. 

They were the days…

~

Ignis drew a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was getting fed up with job applications, but after his conversation with Noctis and realising just how dissatisfied he was with life, he knew the only way to fix it was by taking action. It wouldn’t look good for him looking for new employment despite only working in his current position for four and a half months, but hopefully, his previous part-time job of three years reflected he didn’t job hop frequently. He just needed something that challenged him. 

Gladio had invited him to campus today to go see the kendo team in action, apparently, they were having a friendly match against Lestallum University, but he wasn’t particularly interested in returning to campus. Also, he didn’t wish for Noctis to catch him once more where he shouldn’t be, and make a fool of himself once more. He wouldn’t mind seeing Noctis though. That thought never waned. 

Ignis was being strict with himself. He’d managed three days since their last interaction, but now he was itching to reach out to him. His hand had hovered over his mobile multiple times, he’d even searched for Noctis locked private account on mooglebook once, but he figured, if Noctis wanted him to be a part of his inner circle again, he would send the invitation. After all, Ignis knew how well guarded Noctis’ private account was. 

Another day passed, and his resolve wavered.

**[Ignis - 12:03]**  
Hello. I hope all is well. I’ll be passing by your part of the city today on an errand should you be available for a coffee? 

Truth be told, there was no errand, nor did he have any reason to leave his apartment and take a break from his job search, but he was sure he could feign some kind of excuse if the need arose, and any opportunity to see Noctis was worth taking. He was actually a little surprised Noctis hadn’t contacted him since they’d met on Friday at the fast-food restaurant. Noctis had always been more clingy, and the first to drop everything to spend time together, but now, he was independent and had moved on. Ignis felt proud of what Noctis had achieved if a little disappointed that he was no longer needed.

It was his own fault. 

Ignis idled by his mobile for a while, absentmindedly scrolling through recipe ideas. He knew Noctis used to always have it on his person, so if he was to reply, he would do so quickly, but nothing arrived. Ignis’ hope faded with each passing hour, not only of receiving a reply but of him ever being someone central in Noctis’ life again. 

His chest ached. 

When his phone’s alarm went off interrupting his music playlist, he startled. He’d been busy tending to his herb garden, but the sight of Noctis’ name flash on his screen made him set down his secateurs and pick it up.

**[Noctis - 14:17]**  
Kind of too busy to meet for a coffee today. I’m helping my friend. You can meet us if you don’t mind modelling?

Ignis stared for a moment, wondering if this was some kind of joke. He had never modelled in his life, nor had he ever wished to, and as far as he was aware Noctis had never been keen on having photos taken. 

**[Ignis - 15:19]**  
I can’t say I have experience modelling, so I’m unsure whether my contribution would be of any value. What medium is the modelling required for?

~

Noctis stared wide-eyed at Ignis’ response. The way Prompto was jumping up and down like an excited schoolgirl beside him was pretty much how he felt inside. 

He couldn’t believe Prompto’s plan was working, and Ignis hadn’t outright said no.

“Okay, what do I say now?” Noctis said, tapping the screen, ready to type his reply.

“Tell him he’ll look great on film and that you think he’d be perfect for the project,” Prompto said, grinning from ear to ear. “Oh! Make sure you tell him you’ll be busy after this so you don’t know when you’ll see him next. I read girls do that all the time... It’s dating 101.”

“Prom, I can’t lie,” Noctis said, slouching on the bed. He wasn’t good at dating, but even he knew there were some boundaries he wasn’t good enough to cross. “Iggy will see straight through me. He always does. And I can’t call him perfect. I’m trying to play it cool, remember? I don’t to show how desperate I am to-”

“Get laid?”

“Prom!”

“What, bro? Ain’t it the truth?” Prompto grinned, pointing back at the text. “Now, hurry up. Hook, line and sinker. Get the D.”

“You’re so fucking embarrassing sometimes, you know that?” 

“You’ll thank me later.”

Noctis scoffed. Though, he couldn’t deny he was already thankful for Prompto’s interventions. 

**[Noctis - 15:23]**  
Nah, you can’t be any worse than me. It’s photography. It’s fine if you don’t wanna.  
 **[Noctis - 15:24]**  
And just so you know I’m gonna be busy for a couple days. Got coursework and stuff to focus on.

Noctis stared at the screen, willing Ignis to reply. He’d never been this glued to his phone for a response before, but after days of checking more regularly than he’d care to admit seeing if Ignis had contacted him, he didn’t want to screw this up. It had been agonising waiting a few hours to text back to Ignis today, but Prompto seemed convinced the way to show he’d matured was to seem like he was busy doing other more important stuff. 

The reality, however, was them doing a grocery run and returning with two bags full of cup noodles, three bottles of two-litre fizzy drinks, a twelve-pack of cider for them at the dorm party Friday and a loaf of bread to make noodle sandwiches. Yeah… a proper student life. 

**[Ignis - 15:26]**  
Very well. I can make a brief appearance, though do be sure to tell me if I’m more of a hindrance than a meaningful contribution. I wouldn’t wish to spoil your friend's project. Where shall we meet?

“Dude, the only thing he’s gonna spoil is your duvet cover,” Prompto said, hoping off Noctis’ bed and grabbing his camera.

“I’m not bringing him back here. It’s bad enough being gawked at normally. The last thing I need is this lot finding out I’m gay too,” Noctis said, sighing as he stared at Prompto who seemed too excited about this project.

“Yeah. I wasn’t on about that… Don’t think I don’t know what you get up to when you think I’m asleep.”

Noctis’ cheeks flared. He would have to be more discreet from now on. 

Also, did Prompto ever actually sleep?!

~

Ignis frowned at his text, before looking around Insomnia’s central park again. Being the middle of January there weren’t many people here today, a few dog walkers, a couple of people jogging, but most certainly no photography student and the most charming ex-boyfriend he could ever imagine. 

It was ten minutes passed their agreed meeting time when they came into view, and in an instant, it reminded Ignis why this had been a terrible idea. With the weather having taken a turn for the worse, Noctis was visually shivering, wrapped up in a coat, hat, scarf and gloves, with a pink nose poking out beneath overly long strands of black hair, and all Ignis wanted to do was reach out and warm him up, or at least take him straight to a cafe for a warm drink. 

His friend, on the other hand, was bouncing around with all the enthusiasm of a puppy, seemingly unaffected by the cold. Said friend being the one Ignis mistook as Noctis’ new boyfriend the other week at the planetarium. A wave of jealousy flared when he watched how casually _Prom_ touched Noctis.

“Good to meet ya, Igster,” the blonde greeted, pulling Noctis against him with the hand that wasn’t clutching his camera. 

Already, Ignis detested him. 

“I prefer Ignis,” he responded, tone flat. His eyes hyper-focused on how Prompto was ruffling Noctis’ hair over his bobble hat. He knew how much Noctis hated other people touching his hair. Until now, Ignis thought he was the only person Noctis had ever let touch him so casually. 

“Spoilsport,” Prompto said, before turning to Noctis and not so discreetly whispering, “Guess he’s all work and no play, huh?”

To Ignis’ dismay, Noctis laughed, though only briefly, before locked eyes with him.

“Nah… Iggy knows how to play.”

Ignis swallowed. Even with Noctis’ voice affected by the cold, his words took on a different meaning just by the way he didn’t break eye contact, but when he eventually did, he turned to his friend.

“Where do you want me and Ignis?”

They were led, or more accurately, Noctis was dragged by Prompto, as Ignis now knew his full name to be, and Ignis followed behind boring holes into the back of Prompto’s head. Was Prompto truly incapable of walking more than two foot without being in physical contact with Noctis? And why was Noctis, who he knew was always careful about who he let into his life, allowing so many casual touches? 

Perhaps the green-eyed monster was showing a little too much, but he’d never known himself to be jealous like this before. He felt like a third wheel in this equation.

When they finally arrived at the centre of the park, by the frozen-over lake, Prompto relinquished his grip on Noctis and walked ahead a few paces before turning to face them both, camera held firmly between both gloved hands.

Noctis remained still for a moment, before looking over his shoulder. “You okay back there, Specs?”

“Reasonably,” Ignis said, closing the few paces that separated them both. He looked across, resisting the urge to warm up Noctis’ bright red nose. His black strands moving side to side with every shiver. “Perhaps we should go somewhere warmer for you? You’ve always been more temperature sensitive than most.”

Noctis shook his head, looking down at his feet. Arms wrapped around himself. “Prom wants winter shots so-”

“Why don’t you hug him and warm him up? Winter love would look awesome in my portfolio!” Prompto called, raising his camera to his face.

Apparently, Noctis hadn’t briefed Prompto about their previous relationship status, but based on the way they were both staring at one another, looking equally hesitant and neither moving a muscle, Prompto would soon catch on.

“Come on, bro. You hug me all the time!”

Ignis watched as Noctis glared in Prompto’s direction, but after a few seconds, Noctis approached, huddling against Ignis like a penguin. Noctis’ hands were firmly in his pockets, but he looked up at Ignis, their faces mere inches apart. His cheeks were flared pink, most likely from the cold and a mixture of embarrassment, but his eyes had that beautiful questioning naivety that they did sometimes. 

“Is it okay if I stand here, Iggy?”

Ignis’ breath caught in his throat. Even if he could speak, he wouldn’t risk it in case all the things he’d wanted to say the past six months tumbled from his mouth. Instead, he hummed, and wrapped one arm around Noctis’ back, pulling him a little closer. For warmth. He slid his other hand into his jeans pocket, casually, of course.

~

Noctis was going to kill Prompto. He would wait until the middle of the night and then he would pounce and get him back for this obvious stitch-up. 

Everything was making sense now. At first, he’d wondered why Prompto wanted the photoshoot to be here and nowhere else in the park, but now, with the frozen-over lake turned makeshift ice rink in full view, with couples skating around looking in love and having fun, well it obvious what his plan was. Sucks for Prompto though, because out of him and Ignis, only Ignis could ice skate and there was no way in hell Noctis was going to embarrass himself in front of the man he was trying to be mature in front of. 

When Ignis actually half hugged him though, it took him a moment to process what had happened. The last they’d hugged, Ignis had pushed him away and ended their relationship. This time though, they both kind of stared at each other, then anywhere but at each other, and then at each other again. Noctis was vaguely aware of Prompto taking photos, but he didn’t give a damn. He already knew none of this was actually going in his portfolio. 

“Are you warmer now, Noct?” Ignis said, after a few minutes of awkward silence. 

They looked directly at each other and Noctis questioned how he had ever coped with being apart from Ignis because he finally felt home, and warmth, and ugh… Just Ignis’ cologne was intoxicating and filled him with memories from the past. Ignis looked hot. Well, he always did, but with such a small space between them, Noctis could see every detail of Ignis’ face, recalling how he used to kiss those little acne scars that used to make Ignis paranoid as a teenager. Hell, he’d kiss them every day if he were allowed. 

“Yeah… I’m good, Iggy,” Noctis replied, looking away. If he stared any longer, he didn’t trust himself not to stare at Ignis’ lips and if he did that, he was sure this friendship thing they were doing would be over before it really started.

“Good. Then stay here as long as you need.”

Noctis didn’t reply, so much as he hummed and hoped he didn’t sound weird from biting his lip so hard to ground himself. This was real. This was happening. Ignis was really touching him and he was letting this somewhat hug last for as long as Noctis wanted. 

Okay, tonight, Noctis was really going to have to thank Prompto. The guy was a genius.

~

“You saw him?”

“I believe I already implied as much when I said, ‘today I spent time with Noctis in the park’,” Ignis sighed, taking another sip of his wine. When Gladio had invited him out to a bar this evening, he hadn’t expected the conversation to focus so heavily on his strained ~~relationship~~ _friendship_ with Noctis. 

Gladio grunted, throwing his head back and finishing another pint. Slamming it down on the bar with a satisfied, ‘ah’. “Well, yeah, but I didn’t expect you to be this handsy with him. Thought you were one of those courting types who believed in no touching before marriage.”

Ignis choked, ungraciously coughing as his wine went down the wrong way. How had Gladio garnered that opinion of him? “Need I remind you that Noct and I were in a relationship for a number of years? We lived together and had perfectly healthy relations in that department.”

“Doesn’t stop me thinkin’ you were a prude.”

Ignis sat crossed legged, staring at Gladio who was perched on the barstool beside him. Despite his stern glare, Gladio erupted into laughter. 

“All right. I’m kiddin’. Still, _modelling_?”

Ah. Yes, that was quite embarrassing. The only comfort he took from this afternoon was that any photography student worth their salt would never use such abysmal images of two awkward ex-lovers.

“I had no choice. Noct said he would be busy for the foreseeable future,” Ignis said with a sigh, staring into his wineglass as though it held the answers to all of his greatest questions. 

Beside him, Gladio made an undignified sound. 

Ignis arched an eyebrow, watching Gladio pay for another pint. Ignis waited for him to wipe the flirtatious look off his face that he shot at the barmaid before broaching the topic. “What, pray tell, made you make such a sound?”

Gladio waved his hand in the air, making Ignis wait as Gladio took the first sip of his pint, licking off the foamy moustache it left in its wake. “All I’m sayin’ is I get that line off girls all the time. It’s called playing hard to get. He’s making himself seem more in demand than he actually is.”

Ignis’ brow furrowed as he mulled that information over. Noctis never had a busy social schedule, but then, Ignis hadn’t ever known Noctis to have a best friend that wasn’t him. In some ways, he was redundant in this dynamic now. Noctis didn’t need a best friend anymore. Besides that, he’d only ever known Noctis to leave the apartment for university, when they did something together or when his dad summoned him. But that was different now, Noctis had a part-time job and improved attendance at university, so he genuinely could be busy.

Or maybe he was gaming. 

“I’m unsure, Gladio. I’m inclined to believe he’s telling me the truth, he has no reason to lie to me, not when I’m the one who needs to make amends.”

“And there’s your problem.”

Ignis took a sip of his wine, finishing his glass. He was unaware he had a problem, much less one unknown to him. “Excuse me?” 

When Gladio focused his attention on him, Ignis somehow feared this would become a lecture on dating. It made him reach for the complimentary peanuts, temporarily forgetting why he never ate them in bars.

“You’re looking at it all wrong, Ignis. For a start, that guy’s got his flaws. I can’t even count how many times you complained about him being lazy,” Gladio started. He was nursing his beer this time. “He made you run after his every beck and call last time, and you seriously think you’re the only one who has to make amends?”

Ignis tilted his head from side to side. Yes. Gladio had a fair point there, but after everything he’d said during that last night in their apartment, he’d solely rested the blame on his own shoulders, disregarding Noctis’ involvement. Though, it had taken some time to find himself able to overlook what Noctis had done.

“And now he’s got you wrapped around his little finger again. He’s making you do all the legwork, chasing him… So, you know what you’ve gotta do?”

“I’m not sure I will like this, but go on.”

“You’ve gotta show him it’ll be different this time. _If_ you let him have a _this_ time… You catch my drift?” Gladio said, bringing his beer to his mouth.

Ignis shook his head. “I can’t say I do.” Of course there would be a _this_ time if Noctis permits it. There was no one for him but Noctis, he was sure of that now, because life without him had been miserable. Then this afternoon, standing so close to Noctis, his heart raced as it always had. Noctis was the only person who had ever made him feel like that.

“We’re in a bar. There’s even a gay bar next door…”

“Well observed.”

“There’s alcohol and hot people all around us looking to get laid.”

Ignis turned away with a disappointed sigh. “I’ve no interest in sleeping with anyone tonight.” He only looked up when Gladio’s hand clapped down on his shoulder.

“I never said you gotta sleep with anyone,” Gladio said with a mischievous smirk. “Let me give you a lesson in dating.”

Ignis gulped.

~

Noctis stared at Prompto’s phone, unblinking. He hadn’t expected Prompto to wake him up, waving Ignis’ mooglebook profile in his face.

Guys. 

Ignis. Dancing. With. Guys.

His Ignis. The Ignis that was always so reserved in public was dancing in a gay bar with guys and a drink in his hand only hours after hugging him yesterday. 

In some photo’s, he saw Gladio beside Ignis with his arm around his shoulders, both beaming at the camera with drinks in their hands. The photos with an even later timestamp showed Ignis with the top few buttons of his dress shirt undone and hair dishevelled. Gladio meanwhile was topless, showing off a tattoo. 

They both looked so comfortable together.

Then there were photos in the early hours of the morning of the two of them surrounded by guys, very obviously male inclined guy’s and they all looked like they were having a blast.

He never knew Ignis liked that kind of thing. Noctis had mentioned going to a gay bar once to see what it was like, but Ignis had been quick to say he had no interest in such places. They’d been to the Insomnia’s pride festival once, but even then, Ignis only wore a pride bracelet, while Noctis dressed head to toe in pride colours. Ignis had just never really seemed interested in the wider community. 

Noctis felt… He didn’t know how he felt, but suddenly that feeling he’d shared in the park yesterday with Ignis, the one where it felt like Ignis still liked him suddenly felt like he’d misread the situation.

“You gonna be okay, buddy?” Prompto asked, perching on Noctis’ bed. He tucked his phone away. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I think so,” Noctis rasped, forcing himself to sit up. He rubbed a hand over his face. His chest ached. He was confused. Hurt. Nothing made sense. 

This really wasn’t the wake-up call he’d wanted. Not that he ever wanted to wake up in the mornings.

When Friday rolled around, it was the university social in their dormitory. It happened most Friday’s, but it was only really a big thing once a month, and that was the only one he and Prompto ever went to. 

This month they were armed with a twelve pack of cider, but with how low he was feeling, Noctis easily felt like he could down that all to himself. Not that he would. His dad would fume if he ended up in the headlines drunk, or worse, in a hospital for such stupid behaviour.

As always, they were the losers at the party, at the sidelines, hanging by themselves, near the other gaming nerds. Some people were in cosplay, which was kinda cool. Maybe next month he’d wear his Assassin’s Creed costume if he could bring himself to return to his and Ignis’ old apartment.

“Dude, you realise what we gotta do?” Prompto grinned, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

As much as he loved Prompto’s energy normally, tonight his enthusiasm felt exhausting to be around.

“What?” Noctis mopped, drowning his sorrows in another can of cider. They’d been here maybe half an hour, and he was already on his second. The outlook for tonight wasn’t looking good.

“We gotta take photos of us having a blast, post them on your mooglebook-”

“It’s private. Ignis won’t be able to see anything,” Noctis deadpanned, trying to end this ridiculous idea Prompto had before it had the chance to begin. Trying to make Ignis jealous was pointless. He just wasn’t that type of person.

“Fine. We’ll post them to my profile tonight and then tomorrow I’ll edit the best photos from the other day and post them, tagging you both so it’ll be impossible for him not to see you living up student life to the fullest alongside a bittersweet reminder of how good you look together… sound like a plan?” Prompto grinned, cider can in hand, looking like he’d just unveiled the best plan ever made in history.

He perked up at the sound of photos of him and Ignis. If there was one thing Prompto was good at, it was editing photos and making them look somewhat decent… Maybe Ignis would look at them and… No. He was just getting his hopes up.

“Whatever,” Noctis shrugged. He didn’t really care. Ignis was unobtainable. Either Prompto’s plan would help him get back together with Ignis or it would put an abrupt end to the tiny flicker of hope he still stupidly had. In one way, knowing early on if he had a chance would save a lot of energy in the long run.

That was how three hours later he staggered back to their room, in fits of laughter and a stitch that refused to ease, but it was too funny to care…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone! Thank you sooooooooo much for all the love this fic is receiving! You are all amazing <3

Noctis’ stared at the clock hanging on his bedroom wall, willing the hands to tick faster. His foot impatiently tapping. Ordinarily, he wasn’t like this, but tonight was different. Today he would finally be reunited with Ignis; his best friend who had abandoned him to go skiing with his parents for three weeks over the summer break. 

Life just wasn’t the same without Ignis.

Granted, Noctis had also been on holiday to Altissia for a week with his dad, but that still left him without Ignis for two weeks. For two weeks he’d been bored out of his mind. He distracted himself with video games and anime most days, but it didn’t really make up for not having Ignis around.

The moment he heard Ignis’ voice downstairs, Noctis flew out of his bedroom and bound down the staircase, almost tumbling into him. 

“Kept me waiting long enough…” Noctis scoffed, positively beaming at Ignis. The thought crossed his mind to hug him, but he didn’t want to be weird, especially when their parents were in the same room, so he let his arms hang awkwardly by his sides. "… but you’re here now so I can forgive you.”

“I am,” Ignis chuckled, gesturing politely behind him with an open palm. “My parents have business to discuss with your father this evening, so I took the opportunity to visit.”

“Iggy, you don’t have to wait for an invite to come here, you know? How many times do I have to tell you you’re always welcome here?” Noctis said, rolling his eyes, as he reached out and grabbed Ignis’ sleeve, close enough that his fingers brushed against Ignis’ wrist. “Dad! I’m stealing Iggy! We’ll be in the treehouse if you need us! See you later, Mister and Missus Scientia!” 

Noctis saw Ignis look apprehensively at his shoes, but it didn’t stop him tugging Ignis’ sleeve and breaking out into a run. They darted through the Caelum manor and out into the garden. 

Pine trees shielded the family garden from onlookers. The garden had a grand water feature in the centre with the Astrals carving into it. It was what always drew guest's attention, but there was somewhere even more important out here. Somewhere that they always gravitated towards. 

“Noct, slow down!”

“No chance,” Noctis laughed, pulling Ignis along as they weaved through the garden, leaping across the stepping stones that surrounded the water feature. “How you doing back there, Iggy?”

“I’m keeping up,” he huffed, making no effort to tug his arm free.

They ventured a bit further and the coolest sight in the world came into view. 

The treehouse was high in the sky, or so it felt climbing up the ladder every time. Lit up by fairy lights along all its railings with lanterns that projected the image of stars inside all its walls. On the back wall hung a navy and gold tapestry embellished with the constellations of the six Astrals surrounded by the cosmos. On the floor, there were plush bean bags and a star-covered rug. Then there was the balcony; their special place.

Out here was minimal, with none of the comforts inside the treehouse possessed. There were no fairy lights or lanterns, and if they turned the lights off before coming out, then they were alone in the dark, under the blanket of the night sky. The stars shining just for them.

Noctis led the way out, leaning against the railing, waiting for Ignis who followed shortly behind. Neither spoke, but the silence was comfortable.

Noctis looked across at Ignis. In this atmosphere, surrounded by this view, he looked stunning. His hair cut and styled with not a single strand out of place. His clothes tailored, too formal for Noctis, but they suited Ignis. He even had new glasses.

Yeah. Noctis noticed those kinds of details about Ignis.

Ignis had acne, but it didn’t detract from how handsome he was becoming. Every day, he was more easily stealing Noctis’ breath away, flustering him whenever Ignis came a little too close. But that was the thing with them, they had no boundaries between them like with everyone else. Noctis was comfortable, no matter what they were doing. He trusted Ignis more than anyone else. 

“I miss you.”

“I’m right here,” Ignis laughed, focus shifting from the sky to Noctis. His smile was brighter than any star. “I was only gone for three weeks. Surely you didn’t miss me that much?”

“Ugh… It sucked without you. While you were busy skiing, dad made me go to the company and ‘show me the ropes’...” Noctis shrugged, staring down at their feet, frowning at Ignis’ loafers compared to his boots. There was only a year and a half between them, but every day he was feeling left behind. “Wish I could’ve gone with you.”

“Well, as much as I wish I could say I spent three weeks on the slopes, more than half of the ‘holiday’ was spent with my parent’s business partners. They’re in the final stages of expanding my father’s restaurant… Did you receive my postcard?” Ignis enquired, turning to lean against the railing, facing Noctis.

“The one signed ‘Nightfire’?” Noctis teased. It had always been their codename for ‘secret’ correspondence between them. A way of combining both of their names. In fact, it was inscribed on the trunk of the tree supporting the treehouse. 

“That would be telling.”

“And that would be confirmation,” Noctis grinned, nudging Ignis with his elbow.

“Indeed,” Ignis replied, moving closer. Resting his hand beside where Noctis’ sat on the railing. “Are you prepared for school?”

Noctis hung his head. “Don’t remind me…”

He hated school. He always had, but more so now he was stuck in his final year of junior high school when Ignis had already moved up to high school. There was no rush to get to school in the mornings anymore to see Ignis before the first period began. No reason to do anything at lunch but eat and venture up to the rooftop to be alone. Even after school was rare to see Ignis nowadays as he always had after-school clubs or private tutoring. 

The less he saw of Ignis, the more he threw himself into video games. His dad had suggested he take part in clubs too, but he couldn’t think of anything more annoying than spending more time with his classmates that already kissarsed up to him for who he was.

It wasn’t so bad over summer break until Ignis went on holiday, but now autumn term was about to begin again and seeing Ignis would be back to just weekends, and that sucked. 

He hung his head, not wanting to talk about this anymore, but Ignis’ hand rested on top of his, lacing their fingers together. 

They’d held hands a few times, even kissed and experimented, but it was never out in the open, where they could easily be seen if their parents looked out the window.

“Iggy...?”

Their eyes met.

“I know you don’t like the situation as it is, nor do I, but that means we have to value the time we do have together. So do your best and I’ll do the same. Next year will be different, I promise,” Ignis said, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to Noctis’ lips, that Noctis was too dumbfounded to react to. “I believe in you, Noct.”

Noctis jolted awake, eyes widening in horror.

This wasn’t the dorm room.

This was the apartment. _Their_ apartment.

How much did he drink last night? Where was Prompto? How the hell did he get here?

He scrambled out of bed, ready to run away and never come back, but as soon as he left the bedroom the smell of bacon hit him, and he was even more confused. 

He dared to creep into the hallway and take a peek at who was cooking.

His heart stopped.

“No way…”

~ 7 hours earlier ~

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

Ignis rubbed his eyes, blinking at his clock. It was three-thirty in the morning. Whoever it was, they could wait until more sociable hours. 

He rolled over, pulling his duvet up to cover his head and settled back down. He could feel sleep begin to claim him again, or he did.

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

“Who the bloody hell?” His voice was coarse and full of frustration. He didn’t even bother checking who it was as he grabbed the phone and answered. “I care not what your emergency is, call me again and I’ll-”

_“Iggy?”_

His frustration faded away the instant he heard Noctis’ voice. A pang of guilt shooting through him at the sound of Noctis crying down the line. 

“Noct, are you all right?!” Ignis asked, swinging his legs out of the bed and sitting up. He pulled the cord on his lamp, illuminating his room. 

_“Yes… No… I don’t know. I don’t know anymore, Iggy…”_

Ignis drew a breath. He hated the sound of Noctis’ voice cracking. Each sniffle piercing his chest. He’d only ever heard Noctis cry a handful of times, but never like this. Something about him sounded so fragile like he was seconds from crumbling entirely.

“I’m here, Noct. I’m here,” Ignis said, as soothingly as he could. He was wide awake and ready to sprint out his front door. “Start at the beginning and talk me through it, Noct. What are you struggling with?”

There was a lengthy pause, and Ignis thought Noctis wasn’t going to answer, but just as he was about to say some comforting words, Noctis’ sobs worsened.

_“You’re not here, Iggy. I came home and you’re not here!”_

Okay, Noctis was drunk. That explained this call.

“Noct, you live in the student dormitory-”

_“I’m not there...”_

“Okay, where are you?” Ignis asked, glancing out the window. It was still dark outside and the weather near minus temperatures. “Are you safe?”

_“Yeah… I’m at home.”_

Ignis breathed a sigh of relief. Noctis’ father was quite relaxed about these things and no doubt had just forced Noctis upstairs to sleep it off. “Go to sleep, Noct. I’ll check in with you in the morning. In the meantime, I’m sure your father can help you.”

_“I’m not at dads… I’m at our apartment, and you’re not… you’re not here, Iggy. And I… I don’t know what to do…”_

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to figure out what to do. He hadn’t been back there since they broke up, leaving everything he treasured behind. He’d never been able to throw away the key, certain that one day he would go back to collect his belongings, only that had proved difficult to do. 

Just the thought of Noctis slumped in the hallway was enough for Ignis to balance his phone against his shoulder and dart around his room to get dressed.

“Okay, are you inside or outside the apartment?”

_“I’m in bed… Are you coming home?”_

Ignis stilled.

Home.

Even living in a new apartment, brought with his own money, and decorated to his own tastes, it had never felt like home. It was just where he lived.

_“Iggy?”_

“I’m here, Noct.”

_“I miss you.”_

“I’m right here,” Ignis laughed, just as he had as a teenager when Noctis had once said that to him.

_“But I want you here…”_

“I’ll be there soon.”

~

Noctis walked out into the open living space, bare feet curling into the freshly hoovered carpet. Actually, everything had been cleaned. There was no eye-watering rotten smell coming from the kitchen. The torn-up paper had all been disposed of. All the windows and the door to the balcony were wide open.

Then there was Ignis. Perfectly poised Ignis pottering around the kitchen, filling the apartment with the smell of bacon and coffee.

“... Am I dreaming?”

Ignis chuckled. “If this is a dream, it’s not one I can say I wish to have often. While I’ve nothing against a deep clean, grocery run and cooking, it’s not a service I wish to frequently provide in the early hours of the morning.”

Noctis hung his head. He had no recollection of how he got here, or why Ignis was here. But in somehow doing so, he’d made Ignis do everything that Ignis hated all over again. 

“I’m sorry, Iggy. I’ll make it right…”

Ignis shook his head as he flipped the bacon in the frying pan. “There’s nothing to apologise for or correct. You had too much to drink, and you couldn’t think rationally. If anything, I’m glad it was me that you phoned in that state. Astrals knows what could have happened otherwise.”

“Y-yeah…” Noctis swallowed, approaching the kitchen counter. His eyes immediately drew to the pepper shaker proudly sitting where it used to be with its counterpart. The feelings of guilt and regret washed over him anew. His body ice cold and a shiver went up his spine. 

The last time they were standing in this kitchen, he’d been a selfish, ignorant brat, but losing who he held most precious, made him open his eyes. If Ignis was still this kind and understanding after everything that happened, then Noctis had to return it in kind. As an equal. And without his dad’s funds. 

His fingers toyed with the edge of the marble countertop. He couldn’t bring himself to close the distance between them in case this really was a dream and Ignis would fade from his vision. His bare feet felt cool from the kitchen tiles and that told him otherwise though. 

He bit his lip. “Last night, did we… do anything?”

“Besides you sleeping like a peaceful child as I returned the apartment to a fit state?”

“That wasn’t exactly what I meant… I mean, I was drunk and I don’t know if I…” His words faded to nothing as he averted his eyes, scratching the back of his neck. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Ignis, because he did wholeheartedly, but he couldn’t say the same for himself. Not after the thoughts he still had about Ignis. 

Ignis’ silence spoke volumes.

“Oh, Six… I’ve really fucking messed this up,” Noctis said, internally kicking himself. He focused on Ignis, watching him serve up two bacon sandwiches. “I swear, Iggy. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make this weird-”

“Eat up. You’ll need your strength if you intend on apologising this frequently,” Ignis said, casually passing Noctis his plate before walking around him and heading towards the dining table and sitting down. “I’ve heard good food is all the nicer when shared between good friends. So, do consider joining me, Noct. It would be a waste of my effort otherwise.”

“Uh…”

He looked down at his plate, then at Ignis, who was already tucking into his breakfast. 

Just what alternate reality was this?!

Trying his best not to look overly eager to actually sit with Ignis and eat, Noctis darted across, taking his usual seat across from his former boyfriend, hesitant to eat. He couldn’t figure out how Ignis wasn’t angry with him or at least chastising him for being drunk last night. Just anything but kindness. Kindness was so hard to understand in this circumstance.

“Must you stare? I’ve never appreciated an audience when eating,” Ignis said, after a few moments. 

Noctis looked away, mumbling an apology. This was awkward. Even more so given Ignis hadn’t denied that Noctis did something of _that_ nature while drunk. 

“Noct, I won’t be offended if you wish to dine alone or you’d prefer something else. I only choose bacon sandwiches because of your fondness for them,” Ignis said, setting his sandwich down on his plate. There was so much genuine concern etched on his face and it only made Noctis feel guiltier. 

“That’s not it. Really, I appreciate it, Iggy. You’re treating me better than I deserve,” Noctis said, clamping his lip between his teeth. He was awful at talking about these kinds of things. Normally, he’d just rely on Ignis figuring out what was happening in his mind, but there was nothing normal about this situation. 

Ignis drew a breath. His focus was fixed on the balcony. His expression of contemplation. “Arguably I am treating you somewhat better than expected under the circumstances… but even so, I’ve no regrets. We are friends, are we not?”

Oh, yeah… They were _friends_. 

“I guess we are,” Noctis rasped, grabbing his bacon sandwich and tucking in before he had the chance to show how much that hurt to admit. 

When being friends was meant to be a good thing, why did it hurt so much?

With the way Ignis looked at him, Noctis feared Ignis was going to say something. Something consoling or positive. Something to rid the pain that he clearly wasn’t hiding well enough, but Ignis didn’t. 

They just fell into silence. Both eating. Neither looking at the other.

The bacon sandwich tasted like ash in his mouth. No matter how much Noct chewed, it just felt like he was turning mush over repeatedly. When he swallowed, it didn’t go down well either. 

“What did I do last night? I mean, that’s kinda my secondary question… How did we end up here?” Noctis asked, not even daring to look at Ignis as he set his sandwich down. He had no appetite. 

“You acted as could be expected under the circumstances.”  
  
“And how was that?” Noctis asked, voice small. Looking at Ignis this time with pleading eyes. If he didn’t know, he’d never be able to settle how confused he felt.

Ignis sat back in his chair. He looked so calm that it had Noctis on edge. “You called me, Noct. You were crying, and alone, and I couldn’t in good faith ignore your request for me to come to you. You needed me, and I came. That’s how we’ve always been and I see no reason for that to change now.”

“... Even after everything I did?”

Ignis held his gaze, but when he looked away his shoulders fell. “I’m not considering our past in this equation.”

Noctis nodded slowly, mulling that over. “We’ll need to talk about it one day though…”

“Indeed. Today, however, is not that day. I’ve an interview after lunch and I want my mind clear,” Ignis said, slipping his glasses off and inspecting them before returning them to his face. 

“What’s the interview for?” Noctis asked, perking up. He was just glad for a conversation change at this point.

“Ah. I’ve been applying for new employment. I cannot remain where I’m not challenged, even if the salary is generous,” Ignis answered, as he stood up and gathered their plates.

“Want me to wash up?” Noctis offered. His heart raced as Ignis paused mid-step, staring at him as though he’d just done the most unbelievable thing known to man. He looked away bashfully, not used to being stared at like that. “I just meant, you’ve gotta get off and go ace that interview, a-and you’ve already wasted so much time here getting the apartment back in shape, and who knows if you’ve even slept… I just wanna say thank you and washing up is the best way I can think of…”

“Noct…”

“Yeah?” 

They shared a moment. He couldn’t explain it exactly, but Ignis looked proud? Just the way Ignis’ smile slowly grew, and his eyes looked at Noctis like he couldn’t be more perfect. Noctis was probably wrong because washing up wasn’t important enough for such a strong feeling like that, but it was a start. 

“I would like that, Noct. Thank you,” Ignis said, setting the plates down on the countertop beside the sink. When he walked back around and over to Noctis, something looked different. Ignis was carrying himself different. “If I go now, will you be okay here without me?”

_I have to be._

“Yeah, Iggy. I’ve got it from here,” Noctis said, awkwardly standing up to shake Ignis’ hand. He cringed at how ridiculous he was at this until Ignis laughed and actually shook it. “Right, so… see you around? As friends?” 

“As friends,” Ignis chuckled, letting his hand fall to his side. “See you soon, Noct.”

~

Given his lack of sleep, preparation, mixed feelings surrounding what had happened with Noctis and having returned to the apartment he’d once shared with Noctis, he would have to say that interview had gone exceedingly well. 

As always, they’d begun with typical interview questions and discussing availability. No questions caught him off guard, nor did the interviewer use any tactics to cause him to fail. The manager had even made Ignis look at the menu and suggest dishes he thought he could add to it to attract new custom. He’d kept it simple, to not seem overly pompous, but he supplied enough to demonstrate he had skills currently not utilised. 

If his first impression of the restaurant was set by the dining area and its high standard of cleanliness, he would have deemed this somewhere he felt comfortable to work. That opinion, however, changed the moment he stepped into the kitchen; this wasn’t a kitchen he would just find satisfactory to work in, this was a kitchen he _wanted_ to work in.

The stations were all modern. Everyone’s roles were clearly defined. The familiar ‘yes chef’ being called after every order. The utensils were spotless. No one was working on top of someone else’s station. But most importantly; the whole operation was so seamless. Dishes were being expertly presented and quality checked, then swiftly taken out before they could cool.

When it was his time to show them his capabilities, he fell into the momentum of the kitchen with ease, working besides _competent_ kitchen staff who knew the importance of remaining calm even during a rush of orders, and not allowing it to be an excuse for a reduction in quality. If there was a mess, it was cleaned within minutes and not left. 

This was his dream kitchen.

His trial had lasted just over two hours and by the end, he knew this was where he needed to be. He approached the head chef before he left, complimenting him and thanking him for allowing Ignis this opportunity to undergo a trial in his kitchen. Nothing was said to him then if he was successful, but he left satisfied, knowing he’d performed the best he could expect of himself in a new kitchen.

It was only made better when he checked his phone back in his car.

 **[Noctis - 13:37]**  
Smash that interview Iggy. You got this!

 **[Ignis - 16:12]**  
Thank you, Noct. I’ve a good feeling about this one. 

**[Noctis - 16:13]**  
You’ll get it. I believe in you Iggy.   
**[Noctis - 16:13]**  
Actually I’m at work if you want to come get a coffee to celebrate? My treat?

 **[Ignis - 16:14]**  
That would be lovely. See you shortly. 

The drive took longer than usual, no thanks to school runs and people heading home from work, but he was parked down the road by five. Briefly, he glanced in his rearview mirror, fixing his hair and tie before slipping out of the car and walking the short distance to the café. 

There was a short queue, presumably all students in front of him based on how similar in age they looked, not to mention the proximity to Insomnia University. But Ignis didn’t mind waiting, not when it meant he had time to watch Noctis work, navigating his way around the various coffee machines, looking every bit the natural barista in his crisp white shirt and black bowtie. 

Ignis almost wished to never be noticed just so he could watch this version of Noctis. The young man who had proved he was capable and a decent human being, even despite growing up blinded by privilege.

When Ignis finally reached the front of the queue, he witnessed the beautiful moment where Noctis faltered, a smile breaking out in place of the professional expression he’d previously worn for the customers before him. His blue eyes lit up beautifully as he leaned forward on the counter. 

“And what can I get you?” Noctis asked, looking up at Ignis. 

_Another chance with you._

“You know my order,” Ignis replied confidently.

Noctis titled his head, wearing a lopsided grin. “I guess some things never change, huh?”

Ignis hummed, leaning on the counter, matching Noctis. “Not everything needs to change.”

Ignis stayed like that for a few seconds, but the ringing of the bell signifying a customer entering saw them both return to their normal postures and Noctis went back to work, preparing Ignis’ drink.

The moment was lost, but Ignis didn’t mind. Not when he could see more of this side of Noctis.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone ^.^
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love this fic is receiving <3 <3 <3

Noctis walked alongside Ignis under the blanket of stars. His hands were stuffed into his jacket pockets and for once, it wasn’t because he needed to keep them warm, but because he didn’t trust himself to not reach out and hold Ignis’ gloved hand that rested by his side. 

Noctis tried to distract himself, focusing on the sight his breath in front of him, but his innocent thoughts were soon replaced by the memory of how Ignis’ breath felt against his skin and how it sent shivers over him in tantalising waves, each with a promise for what was to come.

He shivered, making a shuddery sound as he did so.

“It is a touch cold this evening. Perhaps we should think about setting a course for somewhere warmer?” Ignis mused, glancing across at him. Oblivious to the actual reason Noctis had reacted in such a way.

Noctis paused mid-step, frowning at Ignis who stopped a few paces ahead of him and looked back at him.

“Is something the matter?” Ignis asked, head tilted to the side as his plaid scarf cascaded over his shoulder and he graciously readjusted it.

Noctis shook his head as he caught up, half in disbelief that all this time he’d been following Ignis’ lead without him even having a destination in mind, and half struggling to fathom how someone can possibly look so suave adjusting a damn scarf. 

“Ah!” Noctis pointed at the scarf, waving his finger about. There was a spring in his step now. “I can’t believe I didn’t realise sooner, but that’s the scarf I brought you, uh… geez, it was ages ago… I can’t even remember, but it was hanging up in the hallway of our apartment, right? Did you take it with you this morning…?”

“I did,” Ignis chuckled, as they fell back into a comfortable pace, strolling through the streets of Insomnia. “I always saw it as somewhat of a good luck charm, and when I laid eyes upon it this morning, I couldn’t resist being reunited with it… There were quite a few things I was pleased to see. Some I hadn’t even realised I missed.”

“Well, you can come by whenever you want, you know? I don’t live there anymore, so you don’t have to worry about bumping into me,” Noctis shrugged, attention fixed on the pavement.

Ignis hummed and drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly. They’d walked several paces before he spoke. “It’s an interesting notion you put forward.”

“What?”

“How eloquent,” Ignis teased. “I was referring to your implication that not seeing you would be a positive factor in this scenario.”

Noctis’ head shot up, staring dumbfoundedly at Ignis, whose lips curled upwards. “... You actually _want_ to spend time with me?”

Ignis tilted his head from side to side, humming as though deep in thought. “There are worse outcomes I can imagine having to endure.” 

“You jerk!” Noctis laughed, jabbing Ignis in the side who responded in kind before running ahead. Noctis didn’t even try to catch up. He was so out of shape compared to Ignis, and the damn beanpole was already several metres away. “Why’ve we gotta run? Seriously, Iggy, I’ve just finished work…”

This time, Ignis came to a stop and faced Noctis, uncharacteristically shrugging. “I’m just trying to help you build up an appetite ahead of dinner.”

“Dinner?” Noctis asked, perking up immediately at the mention of food. He hadn’t eaten anything since the morsels of bacon sandwich he’d attempted to eat at breakfast. He came to a stop in front of Ignis.

“Indeed,” Ignis replied, gesturing at a restaurant across the road. “... That is if you wish to accompany me?”

Noctis followed the direction that Ignis had indicated, finding himself staring at a fancy looking restaurant, somewhere that was definitely more expensive than he could go to nowadays. He looked back at Ignis, pulling an uncertain expression. “I’m sorry, Iggy. I mean, I’m only a part-timer and my loan only really covers my rent. Somewhere like that is kinda out of my budget.”

Ignis shook his head, wearing a fond smile. “No, Noct. I’m asking you out to dinner. It’s my treat tonight.”

Noctis blinked. Heart hammering away in his chest. Ignis asked him out. Ignis, as in, ex-boyfriend Iggy, _asked him out_. 

“A-as friends?” Noctis stammered, still trying to process this turn of events. Ignis’ expression, however, was unreadable and giving nothing away. 

“Yes, Noct… as friends.”

~

Dinner had never been on the agenda for this evening, nor had Ignis set out with any ideas of how to delay their encounter from its inevitable separation, but when the opportunity arose and they were near a restaurant that Ignis had been curious to try for some time, he couldn’t let the moment pass by. 

To his delight, after the confirmation that this was another _as friends_ encounter, Noctis showed no hesitancy in following Ignis inside. It impressed him hearing Noctis talk about budgeting, as until recently, that was a concept Noctis never seemed to understand. 

They were shown to a secluded table overlooking the city. Their table lit by candlelight, with red napkins. The atmosphere perhaps a touch too romantic for friends, but Ignis didn’t mention it nor did Noctis and they had taken their seats with a polite thank you said to the waiter. 

When Noctis stripped himself of his jacket, hat and scarf, it took Ignis by surprise, momentarily forgetting Noctis was still in his uniform, dressed in a crisp white shirt - albeit with a coffee stain near his right cuff - and in a black bowtie. The look suited him, and it most certainly did something for Ignis. His life was surrounded by men dining in tailored suits, but none compared to Noctis in a bowtie.

As always, Noctis was his weakness. 

They stumbled through ordering dinner, with Ignis finishing the conversation by selecting the wine that would best compliment both his and Noctis’ dishes.

For a while, they passed the time chatting about everyday topics and touched on how Ignis’ interview had gone. Noctis had wished him all the best, and Ignis had gone into great lengths about why he wanted that position in that kitchen, but soon, the unavoidable loomed.

They were both nearing the end of their main course when the topic of this morning was hinted at and silence fell. He wasn’t quite sure how they’d arrived at that topic, but when they did, it brought an end to all the free-flowing chatter they’d had until now. 

Ignis chewed his food, once, twice… In fact, he’d been chewing the same mouthful for some time. 

“... Do you want to talk now, or is today, uh… still, you know, not the right time?” Noctis asked, looking at Ignis with an expression he could only liken to, ‘please put me out of my misery’. 

Ignis set his cutlery down and sipped his wine. His appetite vanished. The day’s success now nothing but a distant memory. “I suppose it is lest we prolong the inevitable…”

“Well, yeah… but I don’t mind if you say no. I mean, you had a job interview today, and a lot happened last night so it’s understandable if you don’t wanna… discuss it,” Noctis said, glimpsing at Ignis and going back to his food. 

“No… No, tonight is as good as any,” Ignis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Truthfully, he didn’t want to discuss the past. They were happy now as friends, even if Ignis wanted more, but he had no desire to push himself on Noctis. 

Sitting back in his chair, Ignis rested his hands on his lap and stared at his mostly eaten dinner. “How would you like to approach this?”

“Would an apology be a good starting point?” Noctis suggested as he cut his garula steak. 

“Yes… I suppose you’re right. I do owe you an apology-”

“No. Not you. I meant me. I _owe_ you an apology, Ignis. You did nothing wrong, and while I’m at it, I also need to thank you,” Noctis cut in, taking Ignis off guard. “I mean it, Iggy. Don’t apologise to me. I’ve had six months to think, and yeah, you were harsh, maybe _too_ harsh, but you were right… Everything you said about me was right. I was complacent, and I stopped putting you first. And I always took you for granted. I didn’t pull my weight… So, yeah, I was a crap boyfriend. 

“But I also gotta thank you, Iggy. I mean, you turned my life around, and it took me a while, but I’m actually kinda glad we broke up. It made me get up and actually do something other than just, I dunno… play games? I even made a friend, and that’s ignoring all the other stuff like standing on my own two feet… I still suck at cleaning, and I don’t stay on top of everything I should in the dorm’s, but I am doing better and I am trying to improve myself.

“And I’m not trying to say I’m great or trying to brush what I did under the carpet, but I want you to know that I’m serious, Iggy. I’m doing my best to be a better person and I’m learning new stuff about myself… I actually enjoy buying stuff with my own money. It feels good to earn something rather than being given it and well, yeah… that’s kinda it really… Is that a good start…?” 

“That’s more than a good start,” Ignis said in awe of Noctis. “You’ve come a long way, and it’s impressive. I always knew your capabilities were beyond what you expected of yourself. You’ve always had this potential within you, and I tried to help you find this momentum that you’ve built up now, but it seems you needed a catalyst… Either way, I say I’m nothing short of amazed by you… Well done, Noct. I mean that.”

“Thanks,” Noctis muttered, bashfully looking away.

Ignis sat forward in his seat, drawing a deep breath, waiting until Noctis looked at him once more. “Nevertheless, I owe you an apology.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, Noct. Yes, I do,” Ignis insisted, waiting until Noctis looked his way while still working his way through his meal. At least one of them still had an appetite. “I went too far that night.”

“I deserved it.”

“Arguably,” Ignis scoffed. “I acted out in anger and said many things I would never normally say. I overreacted to an accident, and I reduced you to tears… Yes, you weren’t the perfect boyfriend, but neither was I. The fault lies equally with us both. For too long I overindulged you in exactly the same way that I had judged your father for doing. Just as you grew complacent of my presence, I did yours…

“That night, I had never expected you to let me leave, and when you did, it was a wake-up call. Too long had I been convinced that you wouldn’t survive without me, yet here you are thriving because I’ve been apart from you, and that is evidence enough for me that I was just as much the issue as you were… We were young when we fell into the relationship, and we ran before we could walk. Neither of us could remember life without the other and we took that for granted, accepting each other as a constant, never-changing presence in our lives…

“I’m not the perfect man you seem to compare yourself to either. I have my fair share of faults, though unlike you, mine are more easily hidden and looked over… I was jealous of you, Noct. I never said it, but I was… You had wealth and family. Many adored you for just being you. You didn’t mind making a fool of yourself occasionally, and I was the opposite. My family weren’t as wealthy as they seemed. All my family had passed away, and no one in the world cared about me bar you. Despite that, I viewed it as unacceptable to present myself as anything less than perfect and that pressure broke me.”

Ignis paused a moment to gather his thoughts. He could see Noctis about to speak, but he backed down when Ignis shook his head. His tone turning sombre.

“When my parents died, all I had left was school and you… I lost my home, my family, my future… even a part of myself, but I had you, and you got me through my grief. You showed me that I still had a reason to push forward. I dreamed of our future and the family we would become one day. You filled the void, and I fell into a relationship that I should have considered more at length… Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but looking back, there is nothing I would change except that night when I left… You were everything to me, Noct. You always have been.”

“Wow… Uh… That’s a lot to take in,” Noctis uttered, reaching for his wineglass. His dinner was forgotten.

A few moments of silence stretched between them. 

“Take your time, Noct. There’s a lot to process for us both,” Ignis said, joining Noctis in sipping his wine. His focus remained on Noctis though, admiring how mature and handsome he looked in the candlelight. 

Another few moments passed and Noctis hung his head, setting his empty wineglass down. Ignis was none the wiser, believing Noctis to be contemplating everything they’d both said, but when Noctis’ shoulders began to shake, and a hand came up to his face to shield his eyes, Ignis realised Noctis was crying. 

“Noct?” Ignis questioned, reaching out to touch Noctis’ arm, but Noctis shook his head. 

Time seemed to grind to a stop as he sat there motionless, unable to do anything but watch Noctis shed tears, undignified wiping them on his coffee-stained cuff. 

“Don’t worry, Specs. I’m fine… I just… I dunno why I’m crying,” Noctis said, looking at Ignis through tear-filled eyes. “I… I try not to let myself cry anymore, you know? I did all that last summer, a-and going back to uni was meant to be me getting over all this, and well, yeah, I’m kinda not… I’m so stupid...”

“No, you’re not,” Ignis said, holding out a napkin for Noctis who took it with a smile. “There’s nothing daft about showing emotion. It’s what makes us human.”

Noctis scoffed before blowing his nose. “Like you cry nowadays. You’re all mature, and you’ve got everything figured out. I can’t imagine you crying.” 

Ignis drew a breath. “I cried.”

“See? I’m just being ridiculous- Wait…. What?”

Noctis blinked at him. Watery streaks running down his cheeks.

Ignis looked away, resisting the urge to wipe Noctis’ tears away. Nothing made him ache more than seeing Noctis like this.

“Iggy…?”

Ignis swallowed. He was too much of a coward to look at Noctis, so he kept his focus on his half-finished meal. “The morning after I left, that was when the reality of the situation struck me. The first night I had little room for rational thought, but that morning…” He glanced up at Noctis, seeing nothing but sympathy and understanding. “... you were no longer mine, and I didn’t know how to handle that.”

“You could have come back,” Noctis whispered. 

Ignis shook his head. “No, I couldn’t… What I said to you was unforgivable.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Noctis rushed out, leaning over to touch Ignis’ arm. “If it makes you feel better, I forgive you, okay? But you really don’t have to beat yourself up. I _deserved_ it.”

“I disagree.”

“Good. Just means we gotta meet in the middle. Didn’t you used to bang on about compromise?” Noctis asked, looking a little too satisfied with himself. It was endearing. 

“Yes, but I fail to see how my lectures over the shared usage of the television have anything to do with our current scenario,” Ignis said, looking at where Noctis’ hand remained on his arm. It felt good to be touched by Noctis. His warmth had always been the only sensation that touched his heart like this.

Noctis shrugged and withdrew his hand. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “What happened doesn’t matter anymore, Iggy… All that’s in the past now, okay?”

It was a nice sentiment, and Ignis understood where Noctis was coming from, but it would be difficult. The only person he had any lingering resentment towards was himself. He’d long since forgiven Noctis, but somehow doing the same for himself was challenging.

Noctis was the one person in this world that he had sworn never to hurt. He’d known from a young age that he wanted to be by Noctis’ side, though initially their friendship had been built on instructions by his parents to friend the only heir of the Caelum family. Thankfully, he didn’t have to fake his friendship for long.

When Ignis focused on Noctis once more, he was greeted by a warm smile and a look of maturity and grace. Six months had changed him for the better and he’d become remarkable. 

Astrals, Ignis considered himself lucky to be sat here with him.

“Iggy…?”

“Yes?” he answered, somewhat too eagerly. 

Noctis looked away, presumably at the floor. “Does this mean, we both still… you know, want our friendship thing to be more of an _us_ thing?” When Noctis looked back at Ignis, there was vulnerability etched on his features. 

Ignis stilled. The room faded from view and all he could see was Noctis. His eyes drifted to Noctis’ now lopsided bowtie then up to his lips as he chewed on them, and finally to his eyes; they had always been far more telling than what Noctis actually said and it was no different now.

“... I would like it to be a possibility,” Ignis admitted. The gravity of his moment crushing him as he waited and watched Noctis for any hints at his thoughts. 

“Same…”

Silence. 

Ignis mulled Noctis’ answer over. They were both in the same position. Neither had moved on, even when they appeared to have done so and now he felt almost silly for ever having thought he could. 

“I miss you,” Ignis said, echoing Noctis’ words from the past, earning him a smile, then a laugh.

“I’m right here,” Noctis grinned, reaching out and squeezing Ignis’ hand. He bashfully scratched the back of his neck, briefly breaking eye contact. “So, uh… one day… when we’re both, you know, ready, and I’ve reached where I wanna be, we can try again?” 

“I would like that,” Ignis rasped. 

If nothing else, he had a future to look forward to again. 

~

That night Noctis laid awake in his bed in the dorm room he shared with Prompto. He’d thought about returning to his apartment given how much effort Ignis had put in to get it back in shape, but being alone there felt worse than facing a barrage of questions from Prompto about his disappearance.

As he bounced a ball off the wall, catching it every time before it landed on his chest, he thought about the evening and Ignis and everything… He had hope again. Despite all the trouble he’d caused and put Ignis through, thanks to some miracle, Ignis was his future again.

He had a long way to go though.

They both did.

“Dude… I know some people think this dark, brooding thing is hot, but, uh… do you think I can get some sleep soon?”

Noctis startled, flinching as his ball landed on his shoulder with a thud, and he looked across at Prompto in his bed on the other side of their dorm room. “Did you say something?”

“Yeah… I wanna get some shuteye, bro,” Prompto yawned, blinking in Noctis’ direction. “You need to talk or something?”

Noctis shook his head, tucking the ball away in his top drawer. “Night, Prom.”

“Yeah…”

This time, Noctis turned the lights out and sat down in the middle of his bed. 

Looking around at the dark, he wondered how he could pass the time at night when his mind was wide awake and he was restricted to being quiet for Prompto’s sake. 

He twiddled his thumbs. Sighed. Huffed. Wiggled his toes. 

Yeah. Tonight would be a long one. 

Streaks of moonlight highlighted the carpet between their beds, with the shape of leaves swaying side to side. Noctis watched it for a few moments, listening to the rustling sound of leaves in the wind outside their window. It was then he dared cast his gaze out the window, looking beyond the tree and up at the sky and at the stars he once admired with Ignis.

Located on the second floor of five in a built-up area, their room was awful for stargazing, something which he’d been immensely grateful for when he’d first moved in, but now he lamented.

He wondered if Ignis was looking at the stars too? It was unlikely, sure, but the thought was comforting. He felt connected to Ignis, even if it was just wishful thinking. 

_I miss you, Iggy._

Noctis hung his head. 

How had they come to this?

Why were they both hurting so much?

What could he do to fix this?

He stood up, creeping around the room to get changed from his pyjamas and into black jeans and a random cup noodle t-shirt he’d been given free in one of their promotions at the local supermarket. He gathered his wallet and phone and glanced once at Prompto who was lightly snoring, then he slipped from the room.

The dormitory was quiet mostly, with the corridor in complete darkness until the motion detectors were triggered by him moving. Though the ground floor was busy with groups lingering in the common room and student’s smoking outside the entrance. 

He coughed a few times, having never liked the feeling of his lungs filling with smoke, and he continued on his way, walking through the silent city.

It was weird out here at this time of night. No one was around apart from partygoers and pub crawlers, but he didn’t mind. He quite liked being alone. 

Street lights lit his path, but the only lights he cared for were high in the sky. He smiled up at the stars. It felt good being able to look at them again without a crushing pain threatening to suffocate him every time.

He wasn’t sure how long it took him, but after about two miles, he came to a stop, staring at a building with four overgrown hanging baskets, one of which had a broken chain making it hang lopsidedly. The windows were all whitewashed, and the door had even been boarded up.

How much did it hurt Ignis seeing what had become of his father’s restaurant? 

A few businesses had come and gone over the past five years, but none survived, leaving behind the tomb of the Scientia legacy. 

As a child, Ignis had always said he would inherit the restaurant one day, taking over as head chef from his father. Ignis had spoken with such certainty that Noctis had never even doubted it. They’d even joked Noctis would be Ignis’ fresh fish supplier, as ridiculous as that was.

But then everything changed.

Everything always changes…

He’d never forget the day two police officers escorted Ignis to the Caelum manor. 

Ignis was wearing his school uniform with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. His eyes were red and unfocused. He didn’t even speak. 

Noctis knew immediately something bad had happened. 

No matter what he did, Ignis wouldn’t react. The police had explained Ignis was still in shock, but at his request to come here, the police had brought him. 

Noctis wasn’t privy to the details. He didn’t want to know. He’d loved Ignis’ parents, and he didn’t want to know how they died. His imagination was always worse when it had fuel to work with. 

Ignis didn’t speak until bedtime, and even then, it was only to ask Noctis to stay in the room. He stayed. 

He dropped everything to be beside Ignis.

At the funeral, he held Ignis’ hand through the whole ceremony. The only time they were apart was when Ignis gave a speech, but then their fingers sort one another out once more and they didn’t let go again.

That night, Ignis cried into the crook of Noctis’ shoulder and fell asleep in his arms.

After that, they always slept in the same bed.

“Smile, boys!”

“Cheese!” they said in unison, laughing shortly after. 

Ignis held Noctis a little tighter, looking across at Regis. “While I thank you, Mister Caelum, this is highly unnecessary. I’m not attending prom so I hardly feel-”

“Shhh… We’re giving you a damn prom,” Noctis cut in, dressed in a suit besides Ignis who wore similar attire. They wore matching black and gold boutonnieres.

“Evidently so, but I-”

“There are no buts this evening, Ignis. You’re a part of this family, and we will celebrate this momentous occasion. It’s a rite of passage graduating high school and you deserve acknowledgement for your achievements,” Regis said, taking a candid photo.

Noctis leaned his head on Ignis’ shoulder, feeling a kiss pressed to the crown of his head. He couldn’t be more proud of his boyfriend. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG you are all so amazing and your comments are just everything to me <3
> 
> Thank you for reading this really indulgent fic of mine XD

Ignis didn’t get the job. 

He found out three days later that it went to a candidate from Altissia who could bring authentic cuisine to the restaurant. It was regrettable, but he wouldn’t be discouraged so easily when he was certain there would be other opportunities to follow.

He hadn’t seen Noctis since their dinner, but he had accepted the invitation to return to their apartment, disappointed that Noctis was true to his word and didn’t make an appearance. 

Armed with cleaning supplies, Ignis worked his way through the apartment top to bottom, leaving no corner unturned. The task which had been daunting somehow concluded remarkably quickly, even with fresh flowers in a vase on the dining room table. He hoped Noctis would come home and see them, but he didn’t hold his breath. 

With the confirmation that they both wanted this to work between them and Noctis’ newfound reliability, there existed no doubt in Ignis’ mind that Noctis would keep his distance. Noctis had something he wanted to work through alone and Ignis hadn’t pressured him with questions, knowing Noctis would volunteer that information when he was ready. It didn’t prevent him from being curious though.

In the kitchen, Ignis stared at the calendar with an Ebony in hand. There were four days until his birthday and besides Gladio inviting him out for a drink, he had no plans. None that he wished to do, at least. Though Ignis supposed he should make a point of informing Gladio there would be no future need to gain Noctis’ attention in such outlandish ways as dancing with men he had absolutely no interest in pursuing. It was a small mercy that Noctis seemed to know nothing of his ‘gallivanting’ that evening.

Would it be too forward of a request to spend his birthday with Noctis? Ever since their first meeting as children, he’d spent all his birthdays with him in some capacity. A new wave of guilt washed over him at the realisation he’d missed Noctis’ twenty-first birthday. 

How had he forgotten something so significant?

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

Ignis picked his phone up off the counter where it sat beside the pepper shaker. His heart leapt into his throat at the sight of ‘Noct’ flashing up on his screen accompanied by a photo of him beaming at the camera with a fish he’d caught proudly on display in his hands. It was dangerous looking at such enamouring photos when he was trying to keep his feelings inside, but he couldn’t resist the temptation, not now there was hope on the horizon.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Ignis asked in greeting, smiling freely while no one was around to witness. He brought his coffee to his lips. 

_“Yeah, uh, hey, Iggy… I got a question for you.”_

“Go ahead. I’m all ears,” Ignis said, hearing the hesitation in Noctis’ voice. It was nothing new. Noctis always hesitated when there was a topic of importance that he wanted to discuss.

_“... I found a job. After graduation.”_

“That’s excellent news! Noct, congratulations!” Ignis set his coffee down, leaning on the counter. His heart swelled with pride. “I’m really pleased for you.”

_“Uh, yeah… about that… In order to take the job, I need to sell the apartment. I, uh, won’t be able to call it home anymore...”_

A chill washed over him, rendering him frozen. Jaw agape. Breath held. 

This wasn’t what he wanted.

This wasn’t what he wanted at all. 

He couldn’t lose Noctis. 

Not now.

Not ever.

“I understand,” Ignis said with perfect composure. “We must go where opportunities take us. I’ll support you no matter where your feet may take you.”

When he heard Noctis breathe a sigh of relief, it was evident that he’d also been stuck in a state of suspense. This conversation clearly took a lot out of him too.

_“I’m so glad you said that, Iggy. Like, seriously. That makes this decision so much easier.”_

“Of course… You know I always endeavour to support you. I wish to see you succeed no matter the cost,” Ignis said, feeling a lump form in his throat. 

_“Thanks, Iggy. Same here… Always.”_

“Always,” Ignis repeated. Body numb. 

He’d never heard Noctis say that word in a tone that sounded like an end rather than a promise before. 

What was Noctis trying to wrap up in his life whereby Ignis couldn’t be permitted to follow him?

_“And about your birthday...”_

“Yes?” he said, too eager. Too needy. Too desperate.

_“I won’t be able to make it… I’m sorry, Iggy.”_

Oh…

His heart deflated. Shoulders falling.

“Not to matter. I’ve plans with Gladio should all else fail,” Ignis replied, doing his best to keep his voice from wavering, but he knew he hadn’t much more ability to hold himself together.

They’d been so close to being together again.

He’d almost been able to feel him…

_“Good. I’m glad… it worried me that you might be alone, and that’s the last thing I want… I’ll be thinking about you, okay?”_

Ignis hummed in acknowledgement, not trusting his ability to speak anymore.

A couple of seconds of silence filled the space between them, and it did nothing to ease the feeling that this was the end before they’d even begun. 

Noctis had slipped through his fingers…

_“So… keep in touch?”_

“Always,” Ignis rasped, clasping his lip between his teeth.

_“Yeah… always.”_

~

Noctis felt awful after the phone call ended. He couldn’t even move the phone away from his ear for a few seconds as the memory of Ignis’ forced answers replayed through his mind. Ignis probably thought he was hiding it well or maybe he underestimated how much Noctis knew him, but hearing Ignis so cut up, saying things that were like that of a manuscript of what someone should politely say in that situation rather than what he actually felt… that pierced him through the chest.

He’d never been one to hide things from Ignis. Well, nothing _important_ at least, but this was a whole new level. 

Whenever he did something important in life or something that would have lasting repercussions he always consulted him. There was no one’s opinion he valued more. But this time around, that wasn’t a luxury he had in front of him. If he was going to do this properly and show Ignis that this time around things would be different, and serious, then he had to do this alone.

Ignis was his endgame. Ignis was the person he wanted to share his life with, marry, and have children with. The whole lot. He just needed to be worthy of him before he could re-enter their relationship as an equal rather than a spoiled brat who took him for granted.

He was better than that.

Noctis closed his eyes as he slipped his phone away in his pocket. The lump he’d had in his throat through their phone call still refusing to budge. 

All around him was the sound of laughter and carefree families with babies and toddlers on their merry way abroad ahead of next week’s school half term. It seemed like an odd time of year for a family holiday, but from what he’d heard, the weather in Altissia was always nice. It wasn’t something he could verify given whenever his father had dragged him along for business purposes, Noctis’ only concern had been what games could he play in the hotel room.

He shouldn’t really be here. Not really. Just like schools, he was meant to be at university for another week before breaking up for a one-week study break, but this was the only time he could act on his plans. Any later and he would have to wait until Easter just for the opportunity to arise again, but it might be too late by then. And in the grand scheme of things, he could easily catch up on one week of studies.

He boarded the ferry docked at Gladin Quay and glanced back at his father who stood on the balcony of the restaurant wearing a look of pride. 

Just like with Ignis, Noctis had undervalued his father. 

He’d taken so much yet given nothing in return. So, when the time came that he ventured home and relayed his plans to his father, not for advice, but for confirmation that what he was doing was right, he broke down. He’d never cried in front of his father, but he let everything out, apologising for taking his love for granted and using his money as though it had no value. His father simply smiled and told him to trust his instincts. 

The only words of advice he received were, ‘hold on to the ones you love because you never know how long you’ll have with them’. It was a harsh truth as hazy memories of his mother came to mind and standing beside her were Ignis’ parents. All three of them were gone but not forgotten. Their absence in his life only made him more determined to follow through with his plan.

“Trust in me… I’m gonna make everything right again,” Noctis whispered, waving at his father.

Soon Lucis faded into the distance…

~

Ignis’ birthday arrived.

He’d tried to find a way out of Gladio’s plans for him but once his friend discovered Noctis had left with little more than a cryptic call about an employment offer, the plan was put into action against his will.

At least he had most of the day to himself. Or so he thought. 

It was barely nine in the morning when there was a knock on his front door and given he’d been expecting no one he opened the door assuming it was his elderly neighbour needing help with her marmalade jar again. 

Only, the person at his door wasn’t in a mauve dressing gown with matching slippers.

“Hey, there, Igster!” Prompto waved.

Ignis shut the door. He didn’t have the energy to deal with Noctis’ touchy-feely roommate.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

“Don’t be like that, Igster! Open the door, bro!”

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose. As much as Prompto got under his skin, he had to let him in or he risked his friendship with Noctis.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

“If you don’t open up I’m gonna sing happy birthday through your letterbox- Woah!”

Ignis stood to the side as Prompto stumbled into his apartment, flailing his arms all over the place.

“Dude, a little warning would be nice next time, ya know?” Prompto whined, straightening out his t-shirt and shrugging his shoulders to readjust his backpack.

“Was banging hard enough to dent my door not enough of a premise that it may do what doors are designed for, and oh, I don’t know, open?” Ignis responded, similar to how Noctis delivered his deadpan responses. The realisation was enough to jolt him back into an air of composure and he closed the door, apologising to the neighbour whose eye he briefly caught in the hallway.

“Awww, come on, Igster. You don’t gotta be like that. Noct always goes on about how awesome you are!” Prompto grinned, slipping his thumbs through the belt loops on his skinny jeans. “Guess you’re wondering why I’m here, huh?”

“Not really.”

Watching the grin falter on Prompto’s face was satisfying, and he wasn’t quite sure why. 

“... I’m gonna pretend you said something like, ‘go on, Prompto. Enlighten me with your superior wisdom’, okay?” Prompto said, grin returning.

This was just as exhausting as Ignis feared. 

“You must think me a fool Mister Argentum because I would never say something so factually incorrect,” Ignis sighed, giving Prompto far more attention than he wanted to.

“... You’re not very good at being friendly, are you?”

Ignis went to say another snarky remark, but he hung his head, letting out a deep breath. Prompto had a point. He really wasn’t being good company today.

“My apologies, Prompto. I was rude, and you didn’t deserve that,” Ignis said, looking at Prompto in time to catch a sympathetic look, and he hated it. He didn’t wish to be pitied. “Now, ignoring how you came to know where I live, which you will explain, please tell me why you’ve paid me a visit today.”

“See now you’re getting it, Igster. We’ll be buddies in no time!”

“ _Ignis_.”

Prompto shrugged. 

“Anywaaaaays… I’m here as Noct’s replacement. So happy birthday!” Prompto beamed, surprising Ignis with a party popper that anticlimactically drifted to the floor between them. “Ah… Good thing I brought this bad boy too.”

Ignis ran a hand through his unstyled hair, questioning his life choices as Prompto blew a party blower in his face. “Are you finished?”

“I dunno… It depends if you’d like to see my chocobo dance-”

“I’m fine, thank you, but I appreciate the offer,” Ignis interjected, swiftly putting a stop to that idea.

“Oh, well, cool… In that case, yeah, I’m done,” Prompto shrugged, tucking the party blower back into his pocket. “Ready for your present?”

“You mean your unannounced presence is not the present you intended to give me?”

“Oh, you charmer,” Prompto teased, nudging Ignis in the side. “I got my eye on a cute little blonde at uni though, but I’ll remember your offer in case it doesn’t work out.”

Ignis swatted Prompto’s hand away.

“Can I please just have my present so we can both go back to what we were doing?”

“Yeah, sure. I got class at ten anyway,” Prompto said, tugging his backpack off and crouching down beside it on the floor. “Ugh. Where is it…? I know I put it in here… Ah. Got it!” He held out a small black box wrapped beautifully in a gold ribbon that had been slightly flattened and an accompanying card.

“Are these from you?” Ignis asked, studying them in curiosity.

“Nah. Noct gave them to me before he left,” Prompto explained, zipping his backpack up and slinging it over his shoulder. He straightened his t-shirt out as he stood back up straight. “He made me swear I’d deliver them today. Said he wouldn’t go if you were alone… He was really conflicted, you know…”

“Where did he go?” Ignis asked, even more confused now than he had been after the phone call four days ago. 

Prompto shook his head. “I don’t know. He took off with his dad…”

“Oh…”

“Yeah… He’ll be back by the end of half term though, so guess it’s kinda far, huh?”

“Yes… It must be…” Ignis frowned, trying to fathom where Noctis could go of such importance that it had to be so suddenly. If he was with his father, perhaps his employment after university was with his father after all?

They shared a bit more chatter, but Prompto left after a few minutes to venture back to university and Ignis headed over to his sofa, setting the present down beside him and he opened the card.

The first thing that struck him was that it was personalised. Its design of an old style camera film except every photo was of him and Noctis on all his previous birthday’s they’d celebrated together. In the younger ones they were both beaming at the camera wearing party hats, some he was blowing out the candles on his cake and the older he got the more romantic, with a photo from last year of them kissing surrounded by the falling snow the most prominent of them all. 

It was beautiful. He’d never received a card like it. 

Inside was far wordier than Noctis was normally inclined towards as well, starting on the left side of the card. 

_Dear Iggy,_

_I’m sorry I’m not there with you today but bear with me, okay? I promise that when I return it’ll more than make up for me not being there._

_It took me ages trying to find the perfect birthday present for you. I literally went everywhere I know you like to buy stuff, but then it struck me. There’s only one present I could buy you this year and while I know nothing I can buy you will ever replace the sentimental value you have towards the original, nor can I afford something that’s now a collector's item on my wages, so I brought you something for the time being as a promise._

_I, Noctis Caelum, promise to do my best to never hurt you again and I will treasure everything that is you. Your belongings. Your parents’ memory. Your dreams. You._

_I love you, Ignis. I never stopped._

_I lost sight of what was important, but I learnt my lesson._

_Happy birthday, Iggy._

_See you when I get back._

_Love_

_Noctis_

_xxx_

Ignis lowered the card, letting it rest on his lap. That wasn’t what he’d expected. Actually, it was the most thoughtful card he had ever received.

He picked up the box, carefully untying the ribbon and lifting the lid off the box, crumbling at its contents. 

A ceramic salt shaker in the shape of a star. 

It was nothing like the pepper shaker he had left from his parents in shape or colour, but a star was the perfect accompaniment to represent Noctis’ importance in his life. 

He couldn’t have asked for anything better. 

~

“Yeah… Um… Uh huh… Got it… Thanks, dad.”

_“There’s no need to thank me, Noctis. You should know I will always support your ventures. My resources are at your disposal-”_

“No, dad. I’m doing this properly. My way…” Noctis paused as he turned around the corner, finding another set of stairs. “Ugh. Why is Altissia so complicated to find your way around?”

His dad chuckled down the line.

_“Navigating Altissia does not differ from anything else in life; if at first you don’t succeed-”_

“... Try and try again. Yeah, yeah, dad… Thanks for the help,” Noctis sighed, trudging up the stairs. He could have sworn he’d already walked up these earlier. Everything looked familiar, and yet he had no idea where he was. “By the way, did you speak to the solicitor?” 

_“Yes, Noctis. I said I would make it a priority, and I meant it. Have I ever given you a reason to doubt my promises?”_

“No… I just…” Noctis’ shoulders fell as he took a break at the side of the stone staircase. “... It’s just, it’s Iggy’s birthday, and it’s getting to me.”

_“Have patience. Everything worth doing is worth doing well. He’ll understand in time.”_

“... I hope you’re right, dad. If this backfires, I’m not sure he’ll forgive me.”

~

Ignis clinked his wineglass against Gladio’s beer can. It wasn’t as sophisticated as he’d intended his birthday meal, but he was in good company and after his surprise from Noctis this morning, he couldn’t be happier. Well, he could, but that would mean Noctis returning to his side.

His biggest victory had been convincing Gladio to come around and have drinks at his apartment rather than head into the heart of Insomnia and endure the nightlife scene which had never appealed to him in the slightest. 

Instead, Gladio kept him company as he made a simple carbonara complete with vegetables thanks to Noctis’ absence. 

“Who’d have thought a damn salt shaker would have you smitten all over again,” Gladio grinned, tapping the proudly displayed shaker in the middle of Ignis’ dining table, earning himself a glare. 

“If you’ve no intention of adding salt to your meal, then I request you keep your hands to yourself,” Ignis glared, sitting across from Gladio. He hummed in satisfaction as he tucked into his first mouthful of carbonara. 

“Daaaamn, Ignis… This is so fucking good,” Gladio swore, shovelling more onto his fork. “Every time I think you can’t outdo yourself you pull something like this out of the bag.” 

“Ah, well, I cannot claim the success of this dish, unfortunately. This was a recipe my mother taught me as a boy… She used to cook this for my father.”

“Oh, damn. I didn’t mean to stir up…” Gladio’s words faded to silence as his hands stilled.

Ignis shook his head. “There’s no need to apologise, Gladio. Honestly, it hurts far more avoiding the topic than it does addressing it. I came to terms with my grief a long time ago and now I enjoy talking about my parents when the opportunity arises. To this day, they remain my inspiration,” Ignis said, offering Gladio an encouraging smile.

“Guess I never thought about it like that… I’m so used to not talking about my mum around Iris, it’s kind of natural nowadays to react like that if I slip up,” Gladio said, tucking back into his food.

“Yes, I think I can understand, but the situations are vastly different and your sister is still only a teenager… There really is no comparison in these circumstances.”

“Always the voice of reason, aren’t ya?” Gladio teased, reaching for his can of beer.

“Someone has to be with the likes of you around,” Ignis smirked.

“Dick.”

“Cock connoisseur, actually.”

Gladio choked, thumping his chest as he coughed into the crook of his elbow. “That has to be the best way someone’s ever told me they’re gay.”

“Oh?” Ignis tilted his head with an arched eyebrow. “If you’re frequently garnering the attention of men who feel the need to bestow such knowledge upon you, I believe you’re entering the wrong establishments.”

“Hey, shut it. I ain’t suddenly batting for your team and I _don’t_ go to gay bars except that time with you.”

“Where you pulled.”

“One experimental kiss, Ignis. It was like kissing a girl just without the cherry lip balm,” Gladio stated matter-of-factly. 

“Interesting…”

“Fuck off.”

“What a delightful birthday this is,” Ignis mused, eyeing Gladio with mischief. 

Gladio shrugged. “It is what it is and it ain’t what it ain’t.”

“How explanatory.”

~

Noctis yawned as he flopped onto his bed, landing with a bounce. It felt fucking amazing getting off his feet after all the traipsing around Altissia he’d done today in what felt like an endless pursuit. He’d only been on this quest a few days, but it had already seen a few stumbling blocks.

It didn’t deter him now. Not when he was so close to making everything right again.

There was only one thing left he had to do today.

Someone he missed more than anyone else in the world and it had only been a week since he last saw him. It felt like a lifetime, though.

 **[Noctis - 22:41]** How was your birthday?

He didn’t know if Ignis would see his phone when he was celebrating with Gladio tonight, but it was worth a try. So long as Ignis enjoyed his day, Noctis didn’t mind.

Thanks to Prompto, he knew Ignis received the card and gift.

 **[Ignis - 22:45]** Stellar, yet

Noctis frowned, waiting for Ignis to send a second text to finish it off but nothing arrived.

 **[Noctis - 22:48]** Yet?

 **[Ignis - 22:49]** Yes. The most important part was missing.

 **[Noctis - 22:49]** I don’t understand?

 **[Ignis - 22:50]** Think on it. It’ll come to you.

Maybe he was too tired to think, but that didn’t make sense at all. 

He stifled a yawn, rolling onto his side to get comfortable. His eyelids growing tired.

 **[Noctis - 22:53]** I’m close to falling asleep but I got a question

 **[Ignis - 22:53]** Yes?

 **[Noctis - 22:55]** Next Friday evening can you get to Galdin?

 **[Ignis - 22:57]** That’s Valentine’s day.

 **[Noctis - 22:58]** Too soon?

 **[Ignis - 23:02]** I assure you that’s not the case so please do not think for a single moment that I do not wish to spend Valentine’s with you. If it were possible, I would drop everything and be by your side, but I work in catering and in this sector, there are some weekends impossible to book annual leave over. Unfortunately, Valentine’s is one of those weekends.

Noctis sighed. Yeah… he should have thought about that, but it hadn’t occurred to him in the slightest when he’d made the reservation. 

Was it bad that he didn’t mind because Ignis’ text was enough? Ignis _wanted_ to spend Valentine’s with him.

Despite struggling to keep his eyes open, nothing could keep him from smiling.

 **[Noctis - 23:05]** Don’t worry. Just means we’ll have to do something better :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I have to finish this chapter on a shout out to KHGoddess who wrote a comment so close to where this fic was going in this chapter and just wow o.O We may even get to see it expanded upon into an AU chapter of its own :D
> 
> Thank you to everyone still with me and commenting on this fic. I know it gets said a lot but as a fic writer receiving comments/kudos is honestly the highlight of my day <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all so amazing to me. Thank you so much for being so wonderful <3

With a week to slog through until Noctis’ return from wherever he had ventured to, another unfulfilling and cold February day greeted Ignis. The highlight of his days all revolving around the scattered texts he received from Noctis, but for a few days, Noctis’ mobile had been unreachable. The issue was resolved now, though Noctis’ explanation had been cryptic. 

Whatever Noctis was up to, it was clear he wanted to keep his cards close to his chest, and Ignis wasn’t sure how to interpret that. They’d never been in a situation to his recollection where Noctis had kept him at arm's length like this. It was unsettling, but Ignis placed his trust in Noctis and exercised patience. 

He’d even witnessed Prompto at the supermarket on Tuesday pretending to fire water pistols in the toy section… Ignis had only been there to purchase a gift for his elderly neighbour's grandson, but he backed away before Prompto saw him. Truth be told, he felt embarrassed by the behaviour he demonstrated the other day when Prompto delivered his birthday present. It was inexcusable how uncouth he’d been when Prompto had gone out of his way to make the encounter special.

Ignis would apologise but in a more familiar setting. Perhaps for Noctis’ sake, Ignis could try to become ‘buddies’ with Prompto. Permitting he drops the nickname _Igster_. He loathed anyone but Noctis not addressing him by his proper name. He was growing accustomed to Gladio treating him casually, but it was a matter he rather not have to accept from everyone. 

His project on Wednesday had been to purchase a pair of matching photo frames to display in his living room above his television. One would hang a photo of his parents on their wedding day, lovingly gazing into one another's eyes. The other would display the photo Noctis had chosen as a focal point on his birthday card. There existed no photo more aesthetically pleasing of them than in that moment, captured in a kiss with snow surrounding them. Ignis wasn’t normally one to like photo’s of him kissing, but that one holds a special place inside his heart. 

All week the restaurant had been busy in the lead up to valentine’s day, and the suffocation of spending endless hours surrounded by people he’d rather never see again was taking its toll. Tensions were high and newer members of the kitchen team were struggling. Training at the best of times could be frustrating but teaching new staff over a busy period was even more of a challenge. He didn’t have the time needed to devote enough time to them whilst overseeing all his other tasks in the kitchen.

Truth be told, it seemed rather appealing to throw in the towel and make way for Galdin Quay to see Noctis on Friday. Reckless, but inviting. The only thing keeping him at a job he detested was his ingrained sense of duty and unwillingness to leave commitments unfulfilled, but he was tethering on the edge of yielding to his heart’s desires. 

It was dangerous territory. 

To help Noctis as much as possible with the sale of his apartment, Ignis spent his morning’s packing his own belongings into boxes ready to shift to his apartment. There wasn’t much after he narrowed down what precisely was his; clothes, cookbooks, family heirlooms and kitchen equipment. None of the furniture belonged to him accept a decorative lamp he’d spent far too much on way back when they’d first moved in and he’d wished to contribute to the cost of furnishings. 

As nice as it was to be reunited with his belongings, it was bittersweet. This apartment was his first home with Noctis, discounting when he’d lived in the Caelum manor under Regis’ guardianship, but soon this apartment wouldn’t be theirs anymore and Noctis wouldn’t be here in Insomnia… A concept he was still struggling to come to terms with after they seemed so close to healing the pain between them, lingering from the not so distant past.

Come Thursday morning, he’d completed packing all his belongings and shifted them all to his apartment where they remained stacked in boxes. There wasn’t so much urgency now he knew he wouldn’t be a cause to slow down Noctis’ ability to sell this part of their lives. Perhaps no longer being able to return here would be the closure they both needed to draw a line under the past and start anew. 

Was it selfish to hope Noctis changed his mind and stayed in Insomnia? 

Ignis didn’t want to lose him, but he couldn’t bring himself to vocalise it when Noctis wanted to do this. He’d had time to think on it and he wished for new employment anyway, so it wouldn’t be an unwelcome change to move wherever Noctis settles, permitted he wouldn’t be seen as a bother. Insomnia held little appeal to him if Noctis didn’t reside within its walls.

When his phone chimed, Ignis wasted no time picking it up in hopes it was Noctis, but when it wasn’t, his shoulders fell. It seemed whatever Noctis was doing, it was occupying the majority of his time.

Astrals, Ignis missed him.

 **[Gladio - 10:32]** Hey man. Can you do me a favour?

 **[Ignis - 10:34]** That depends entirely upon what it is you want. 

**[Gladio - 10:35]** I need a table tomorrow night. 

**[Ignis - 10:37]** That may be complicated. Most furniture stores close by evening. Alternatively, I have got a modest dining table if you wish to collect.

 **[Gladio - 10:38]** Thanks smartass. You know what I mean. I got a girl I wanna impress, but I wasn’t expecting us to hit it off so quick. Can you help a guy out?

Ignis sighed. Why did everyone around him overlook how busy valentine’s day is? It was almost as though this wasn’t an annual recurrence.

 **[Ignis - 10:40]** The restaurant’s fully booked. Though I can put you at the top of the cancellations list?

 **[Gladio - 10:41]** Do people cancel sure-way-to-get-banged plans?

 **[Ignis - 10:43]** How ungentlemanly.   
**[Ignis - 10:43]** You would be surprised at how many couples break up or argue on valentine’s so the probability of you securing a table is reasonably high with my name beside your booking. 

**[Gladio - 10:45]** Great. Thanks, man. I owe you one.

 **[Ignis - 10:46]** No problem.

At least someone would get to enjoy Valentine’s day…

~

“Ah-choo!” 

Noctis shivered.

How the hell did he catch a cold in the heat of Altissia?!

Okay, it was probably when he was underprepared to face the climate on his excursion to Tenebrae. It wasn’t as cold as Gralea was known for, but as a neighbouring territory, Tenebrae had proved more than his temperature threshold could handle. He needed Ignis beside him for warmth so they could huddle like penguins again.

Wiping his nose, Noctis felt like death warmed up. He’d returned to Altissia yesterday and all he had to do now was bide his time until his return ferry to Lucis tomorrow. He had tried to reschedule and go home today, but he couldn’t afford the price hike for on the day bookings. He’d had enough of this trip now. All he wanted was his own bed and to use Ignis like a hot water bottle.

He wasted his evening sat on the pier in the marina, watching boats come and go, not to mention gondola’s paddling passed him or whatever they called it that they did. 

Altissia was so intricate that he’s grown reliant on gondolas for getting around. He’d hired fishing equipment one day when he had some downtime and had a gondola take him to a decent spot, but to the most part, he hadn’t had much time to spare for that kind of thing. The mission he’d set out to do was complete, and to the most part it had been a success, but he knew there would be some snags here and there so it didn’t throw him too much. 

Given his ferry back to Lucis was kinda early tomorrow morning he had considered staying in his hotel room tonight, but there wasn’t much to do and when his mind wasn’t occupied his thoughts kept drifting to Ignis and then his hand would reach for his phone and he would have to tear himself away before he risked being a pest and texting him yet again. He was trying his best to keep contact to a minimum to be _mature_ and all that, but it was tough. _Really_ tough.

He sneezed again, catching it in the nick of time. His pockets were bulging with tissue’s both used and ready to use, but he didn’t have the energy to keep getting up and binning them. Just thinking felt exhausting.

If he could have anything in the world right now, it would be Ignis’ soup. Ignis always made the best damn soup when he was ill. Noctis had no idea why it was the best medicine, but it was so warm and comforting, and there was always plenty in supply if Ignis was caring for him.

Actually, he just wanted to cuddle up to Ignis and not move until he felt better…

~

“Fire that fucking barramundi for table thirty-seven!”

“Yes, chef!”

“Where’s that bloody onion?! Hurry up!”

“Yes, chef!”

“Are you incompetent or something?! Get those fucking oysters out to table twelve!”

“Yes, chef!”

Ignis stepped in wherever he could. Tonight was the busiest night of the year so far and with the head chef unable to give any orders without swearing, it often fell to his shoulders to quietly console teary staff. The newest members of the team, all students of various subjects in college or university, had no experience with this verbal barrage and it was proving too much for some of them. Ignis understood because he had been the same when he first began in this industry.

Ignis swore to himself that when he earns the position of head chef, he will be nothing like the arrogant one he was employed under. His father had never sworn at his kitchen staff and Ignis would endeavour to conduct himself in the same manner. There was no need for obscenities as though they were vital punctuation without which the meaning of his orders would diminish.

Frankly, the head chef seemed like a man who couldn’t handle the heat.

An hour passed and the head chef exploded in the face of a waitress who dropped an order on the floor. Everyone was feeling it tonight, but there was no need for that behaviour. The young girl who looked barely out of college broke down in tears, scrambling around the floor to fix her mess, but with trembling hands, she was only making things worse.

Ignis kept his head down, not because he didn’t want to help, but because if he delayed now they would only further fall behind orders. As the night progressed he was increasingly picking up the slack of those falling behind, but he didn’t blame them. They’d just never been exposed to an evening like this, and nothing could prepare them except practice coping in such situations.

After throwing another round of insults, the head chef tore the tea towel from his shoulder and threw it on the floor, storming through the kitchen and heading outside for a cigarette.

Good riddance, Ignis thought as he seamlessly stepped into the head chef role.

No wonder his superior had lost his rag so easily. The chit machine was streaming out orders at an alarming pace. It wasn’t quite as bad as Christmas, but it was near enough.

He could do this. He could restore some form of order to the kitchen.

He took a deep breath.

“Fire three prairie-style skewers, one carp diem, and one tomalley-filled dumplings,” Ignis started, receiving three calls of ‘yes, chef’ in response. Just the tone used speaking two simple words told him how much more the staff were at ease. 

He darted about finalising dishes and sending them out in rapid succession, all the while calling out new orders to action. What had previously felt like an ill cared for machine jamming at every new input, now felt like a foxtrot.

This was the optimal conditions he could hope for today. If the staff weren’t fearful of every minuscule mistake, they would all function better as a team.

“Pick up, table four!” Ignis called, moving onto the next table. The dishes were gone before he even had the time to inspect the next ticket. “Fire two long-bone rib steaks!”

“Yes, chef!”

They were still in the weeds, but at least now he was the only person who had to endure the full brunt of the stress. 

When the head chef returned, he took one at Ignis, called him some derogatory insult and disappeared out the back door, letting the door swing closed behind him. Hopefully, that meant his resignation too, but Ignis couldn’t be too optimistic.

It was nearly one in the morning when he finally managed to close the kitchen down for the night after it was spotlessly clean and ready for tomorrow’s slew of custom. Some would be their weekend regulars, while there would almost certainly be an increased volume of those who hadn’t been able to either book on valentine’s day or afford the valentine’s menu.

He looked forward to the return of normality on Monday.

The car park was dark with nought but a flickering streetlamp to brighten the staff parking area.

He had always held a strong disliking towards driving in the dark, and even more so when he was this exhausted. It was a lingering fear from losing parents, but one that hadn’t subsided anywhere near as much as he hoped counselling would allow. If nothing else, at least the streets were empty and the drive would barely be ten minutes.

After the stress of valentine’s day, all Ignis wanted to do was climb into bed and slip into a peaceful slumber. He’d deliberately changed his bedsheets before work so he could return to the comfort of his own bed, complete with the aroma of an ocean breeze. It was a little act of self-love. Besides, he deserved a little treat after such a hectic day.

Of course, that chain of thought ceased the moment Ignis stepped out of the elevator and found Noctis fast asleep against his front door, clutching a box of tissues. 

Ignis rushed over, noting the redness around Noctis eyes and nose. He pressed the back of his hand to Noctis’ forehead, barely needing to make contact to feel how raised his temperature was.

Noctis looked so helpless.

Every instinct in Ignis screamed at him to nurse Noctis back to health. Unlike himself, Noctis had always been hit quite hard whenever he caught an illness. Often taking several days to a week off school at a time. Ignis attributed it somewhat to Noctis’ poor lifestyle, but his view was always met with scepticism. 

Vegetables were evil and no good can come of them, or so that is what Noctis would like to believe.

Ignis scooped Noctis into his arms, knowing full well he was too much of a deep sleeper to stir. Before now he’d never noticed, but it was alarming how light Noctis felt compared to when Ignis used to carry his ex-boyfriend to bed all those months ago. Up this close, he could see how Noctis’ cheeks had lost the slight childish roundness to them and his ribs felt somewhat distinguishable against his hand.

Guilt washed through him anew, wondering how badly Noctis had been coping below the surface that this had happened to him. Or perhaps his student budget didn’t stretch enough to allow vital nutrition? Unlike Ignis, who had been entitled to a bursary, Noctis wouldn’t meet the criteria because of his father’s wealth.

Inside his apartment, Ignis carried Noctis straight into his bedroom, easing him out of his jacket, jeans and shoes, and tucked him in under the covers. His fingers found their way to Noctis’ soft black strands, giving them a little ruffle. 

Noctis lay motionless, ever a deep sleeper. He looked so pale. His skin damp with sweat, and the skin around his nostrils was cracked and looked incredibly sore.

The decision was made for him; tomorrow his obligation was to Noctis, restaurant be damned.

Ignis leant down to kiss Noctis goodnight, catching himself in the last second and righting his posture immediately. Astrals, he would never forgive himself for taking advantage of Noctis in this state. Only, it had felt so natural a gesture he had thought nothing beyond it being him bidding Noctis goodnight.

Unlearning so many normal behaviours surrounding how he treated Noctis was proving difficult.

Ignis made his way to the door, turning off the light. He glanced back at Noctis, focused on where the light filtering in from the living room lit up one side of his peaceful features. He really was the most attractive person in Eos.

“It’s a little late, but happy valentine’s day, Noct… I’m glad you could share it with me.”

~

The next morning, Noctis curled up tighter, wrapping the duvet snug around him. He felt so weightless and comfortable.

Strange. 

His mattress was more pliant than usual, even the sheets felt soft to touch. He needed to get Prompto to do the laundry more often.

… Was it odd that the bed seemed roomier too? 

Wait.

His eyes flew open, taking in his surroundings. 

The room was light and airy, if a little sparse, and in the corner were four cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other. So whoever's room this belonged to, they probably hadn’t lived here long. Otherwise, the room looked like it wasn’t used very much… If nothing else, the view out the window confirmed he was in Lucis because he could see the Citadel where Parliament sat in the distance. 

His memories of last night were hazy. He remembered wandering the streets after getting back to Lucis and ending up at the restaurant Ignis worked at. He peered in the window, feeling sorry for Ignis at how heaving the place was. Then he wandered to Ignis’ apartment like a love-struck fool and waited for him to come home so that he could surprise him on valentine’s day… that was the last thing he remembered. 

That could only mean one thing and judging by the glass of water and box of cold and flu tablets which sat on the bedside table, he’d been rescued from his sorry state by the one person he was trying to impress. There was no one else who would go to such lengths for him.

“You’re too good to me, Iggy,” he whispered, taking the medication. The second tablet got stuck at the back of his throat, but a big gulp of water fixed it.

It was strange, though. In the old apartment, Ignis was the one who had taken pride in decorating it to look modern and presentable, and yet, this bedroom looked barely lived in. Maybe it was just a guest room, but it still left him kind of sad because Ignis had put so much effort in before, so it seemed like he enjoyed that kind of thing.

Slipping out of bed Noctis assessed his clothing situation, grateful Ignis hadn’t stripped him of all his clothes, though he wasn’t sure why the thought of Ignis seeing him naked was embarrassing after how normal that had been when they were together. He located his jeans hung over the back of a chair and tugged them on, nearly tumbling to the floor when his foot got caught.

“Oh, fuck!” Sneeze incoming.

He scrambled for a tissue, pulling a handful out by accident. 

“A-a-ah-choo!”

Well, that one was a blast and a half and his nose hurt. Actually, _hurt_.

“Noct, is everything all right?” Ignis enquired from the other side of the door.

“It’s fine, Iggy. Just, uh, yeah…” Noctis bashfully opened the door, running his hand through his hair. Breath catching in his throat at the sight of Ignis topless.

How the hell had Noctis forgotten how hot Ignis was? 

Noctis didn’t realise how intently he’d been staring until Ignis covered his pecs with his hands, turning his body away shyly as a blush crept up his cheeks.

Damn. Ignis was hot and _cute_.

Also, Noctis had an awkward semi…

“Still shy, huh?” Noctis teased, though it lost its effect when he had to dart back to the tissues and catch another sneeze. 

Unfortunately, that gave Ignis the opportunity to slip around him and retrieve a t-shirt from his wardrobe. 

So this bedroom was Ignis’ after all. Now that really was sad…

“How long have you lived here?” Noctis asked, averting his eyes while Ignis found his composure. He knew how much Ignis hated being seen like that. 

Also, it seems they were both embarrassed about being naked in front of each other again… Everything felt new and old. How the hell did that make sense?

“Just under four months… I stayed in a hotel initially, then took a short hold rental for two months while I found somewhere permanent,” Ignis explained. His voice was still a bit higher than usual and it was adorable, which wasn’t a word most people could call Ignis.

It felt like a privilege seeing him this flustered.

“Permanent… so no chance you’ll move again?” Noctis asked, choosing now as a good time to get answers. He sat on Ignis’ bed, jumping up the moment he realised this was Ignis’ actual bed. 

“Well, that entirely depends on the situation,” Ignis said, arching an eyebrow at Noctis. “Is there something wrong?” 

“No. Not really,” Noctis replied, slipping his hands in pockets, staring at the unmade bed. “Did we… share?”

“No. I spent the night on my sofa.”

“No guest room?”

Ignis shook his head. Gaze falling to the floor. “My funds only extended to a one-bedroom apartment. If anything, I was lucky to find this one within my budget. Luck was on my side given the previous owner wanted a quick sale to move closer to his son in Lestallum.”

“That does sound kinda lucky,” Noctis said, looking at the room in a new light. This was Ignis’ home now. It was kind of small, but this place gave them the distance they needed. So weirdly, he loved it. “Do I get a tour?”

“I suppose you were rude enough to sleep through last night’s,” Ignis teased, smiling in his direction. It was such a sweet smile. Ignis’ eyes were so soft… So beautiful. “You worried me last night…” 

Noctis snapped back to reality. 

“Oh, yeah… Sorry about that. I didn’t know what time you finished, so I thought I’d wait for you to come home… I just wanted to, uh, say happy valentine’s day in person… Sorry, it’s late,” Noctis muttered, scratching his cheek before daring to look at Ignis.

“Happy valentine’s day, Noct.”

“Happy valentine’s day, Iggy…”

Noctis held Ignis’ gaze, losing himself in Ignis’ emerald eyes. His heart was racing. Neither of them moved, but his eyes involuntarily flitted to Ignis’ lips and Ignis followed looking at his. 

It was like the world stopped spinning when Ignis took a step forward and leaned in, pressing a kiss to Noctis’ cheek, pulling away way too quick. 

It rendered Noctis unable to function, let alone think. 

“Ready for the tour?” Ignis asked, looking at him as though nothing had just happened and all Noctis could manage was a single nod before he threw himself at the tissues to catch a sneeze.

When he looked up, Ignis had already led the way out of the room.

Ignis kissed him…

Ignis. Kissed. Him.

Ignis Scientia, the hottest guy on Eos, _kissed_ him.

This was the best day of his life!

Everything was-

“Come along, Noct. I can hear you thinking.”

Fucking Ignis. 

He was the most annoying person on Eos.

~

Ignis was glad Noctis didn’t follow immediately. It gave him a moment to touch his lips, recalling the warmth of Noctis’ cheek against his lips. His heart pounded. He’d wanted to do that for a long time, and how he’d found the courage just now to be so bold he wasn’t sure, but seeing Noctis look at his lips felt like the invitation he’d been waiting for. 

His legs were weak and his mind whirled with thoughts of doing that again and his heart… oh, his heart… 

It was like his soul had reawakened after having been in slumber all this time, locked in a landscape of endless darkness only to be replaced with vibrant shades of every colour. A flame flickering inside his chest at risk of growing wildly out of control if he didn’t take ahold of this sensation and direct it into some form of acceptable display of affection. Maybe breakfast was a good start. Noctis was lacking nutrition and Ignis wanted to address that. Yes, breakfast could be easily explained as nothing more than a polite way of thanking Noctis for his visit.

He almost robotically walked over to his kitchen, examining his stock supply. He hadn’t managed to make it to the supermarket since Tuesday so his fridge was running low, but he could create something with the ingredients at hand under the guise of wanting to try a new recipe. Noctis had always been his guinea pig for such experiments so continuing that leant a sense of familiarity to this otherwise not so normal encounter.

When Noctis emerged from the bedroom his face was as red as a Leide tomato. It was truly a sight to behold. And to think, he was the reason for that blush… It was satisfying.

“Welcome to my living room and kitchen,” Ignis announced, gesturing around the open plan living space from where he stood at the kitchen counter with four eggs in hand. 

His apartment was near half the size of the one he’d once shared with Noctis and it only had the bare necessities plus a few boxes in the corner of the ornaments he’d packed and brought here. It’d come a long way since he’d first moved in, modernising it by stripping the walls of decades-old wallpaper and painting the rooms white intending to go over them once he’d settled on the colour he wanted for each room, but four months on and he was no closer to deciding. No matter how much money he invested in the property, it had never felt like home until today.

“I apologise that it’s a little bare for the time being…” Ignis started, placing the eggs down on the counter and turning towards Noctis, “… but it’s home.” _Now you’re here._

Noctis shook his head, looking around. His eyes scanned the room high and low, beautifully lighting up when he looked in Ignis’ direction. “It’s cool, Iggy… Kinda like a blank canvas waiting for you to put your own stamp on it right-” Noctis gasped, pointing at the two-person dining table. “You put the salt shaker with your parents pepper one! Does that mean... you liked it?” 

The look Noctis wore was so precious and pure. 

It made Ignis want to kiss him again.

“Of course I put them together, where else do you belong except as part of my family?” Ignis asked as casually as possible. Astrals, it was astonishing how liberated he felt now the chains around his heart had been unlocked. The weight he’d been carrying no longer a burden. He didn’t just have a life to trudge through to survive anymore; he was actually alive again. “I treasure it, Noct… It’s one of my most prized possessions.” 

“Geez.. you don’t, uh, need to say that,” Noctis squirmed, hiding his face as he wandered in the kitchen's direction, stopping a few paces away from Ignis. “I just saw it and… well, I just knew. There wasn’t anything else I could buy that would be _that_ perfect for you…”

“Which is exactly why I treasure it so,” Ignis said, taking one step closer and gaining Noctis’ attention. The eggs were forgotten on the side. “The thought you put in selecting my gift makes it all the more special to me, Noct. It’s the best present I’ve ever received.”

“Until today.”

Ignis’ eyebrows pulled together. Given the sheepishness of Noctis’ actions, Ignis hadn’t expected him to sound so certain out of the blue. “Pardon?”

“Well, I meant it to happen yesterday, but, uh, your valentine’s gift… It’s why I had to leave when I did,” Noctis shrugged, looking up at Ignis. “I know I made the biggest mistakes of my life at the old apartment, but thanks to selling it, I can go forward and be proud of myself again.”

“I’m not sure I follow,” Ignis said, folding his arms across his chest as his hip rested against the counter. “You’ve already sold the apartment?”

Noctis nodded, pulling at the hem of his t-shirt. “Dad did that for me. Actually, he, uh, bought it from me at market value, but he’s gonna, you know… oversee the actual sale. So, I used that money for something else.”

“... You’ve spent it already?”

“Most, yeah...”

Ignis resisted the urge to say how reckless that came across, but Noctis running into the bedroom and sneezing again gave Ignis time to pause and reflect. He had to trust in Noctis. His ex-boyfriend had come a long way over the past few months, so there must be some logical explanation behind Noctis’ actions.

When Noctis returned, he looked anxious.

“Noct?”

Noctis looked down at his feet. Lip between his teeth. Clearly trying to build up the courage to say something.

“I… Iggy, I… what I said in your birthday card, I meant it. I still… I mean, you and me… I, erm…” Noctis groaned, running a hand through his hair, making it stand up in every which way. His blue eyes found Ignis’. “I love you… I love you so much, Iggy…”

Ignis swallowed. He’d longed to hear those words for what felt like forever. “I love you too, Noct. Always...”

“Yeah, always,” Noctis choked, covering his face. It muffled his voice as he spoke again. “Damn, Iggy… I just… I’ve tried so hard, and I… I don’t know what to do…” He looked up at Ignis with tears gliding down his cheeks. “... I-I’m trying to make amends… and I just need you to know that your everything to me… You know that, right?”

Ignis’ body was numb. He could handle his own suffocating emotions. He didn’t mind if he had to endure the never-ending drowning feeling, frantically swimming to find the surface, but he never wanted to see Noctis endure that. He never wanted Noctis to cry over him. Never.

Ignis wasn’t sure who moved first, but they each rushed forward, wrapping their arms around each other. Noctis trembled in his arms, moving to bury his face and sob into Ignis’ shoulder, but Ignis wasn’t having that. 

Ignis hooked his finger under Noctis’ chin and guided their lips together, hovering against each other by the time Noctis scrambled away in his arms.

“Iggy, stop! I don’t want you to catch my cold,” Noctis protested, but judging by how weak he was pushing Ignis away, he wasn’t fully committed to the endeavour.

“I don’t care,” Ignis whispered, pressing his lips against Noctis’. It was gentle at first, as they each found their confidence, but soon he kissed Noctis like he was a starving man eating for the first time in weeks.

Ignis’ fingers entwined in Noctis’ hair as he pressed him against the kitchen counter, keeping Noctis exactly where he wanted him. Noctis’ lips were chapped, but they were just as eager as Ignis remembered, chasing him, tasting him, coaxing him for more. 

He could feel Noctis’ tears warming between them as shaky fingers gripped his shirt, almost questioning if this was happening. Ignis yielded to every touch, willingly letting Noctis part his lips and deepen the kiss with the tip of his tongue seeking Ignis’.

His hand gripped Noctis’ angular hip, inciting his need to protect Noctis from any further suffering, wanting to bring Noctis nothing but enjoyment in life once more. They both deserved this after the turmoil they’d both endured. 

When Noctis pulled away he gasped for air and slipped out of Ignis’ arms to double over in a coughing fit. 

It had been an oversight on Ignis’ part, kissing Noctis like that in the condition he was in, but Ignis had been so overcome by the moment that he forgot the finer points requiring consideration. 

He opened the cupboard above his spice rack and retrieved a tumbler and filled it with filtered water for Noctis. 

“Here, Noct. Sip this,” he instructed.

Noctis took it, chugging it rather than sipping, but Ignis didn’t see fit to stop him when it was unlikely his advice wouldn’t be acted on, anyway.

“Note to self; snogging with a blocked nose is never gonna go well,” Noctis laughed breathlessly, beaming up at Ignis as he dried his cheeks on the back of hand. 

It made Ignis mimic the gesture subconsciously, pulling his hand away to see watery streaks across it.

“But you know what?”

Ignis’ attention focused on Noctis. “Yes?”

“It was totally worth it.”

~

Reasons to increase the guilt he already felt: Ignis would catch his cold. There was no doubt about it, unfortunately. 

But daaaaaamn, that kiss had been great! The only way it could be better was if he could actually breathe, which in the grand scheme of things was kind of important. 

Somehow things calmed down again and once their awkward boners had gone down, the energy in the room was different. Every slight touch just did something to him. Like their fingers brushing when Ignis handed him his breakfast or their knees resting against each other where they sat watching a movie that Noctis was pretty certain neither of them were actually paying attention to.

It was just electric. 

Everything was heightened for no reason other than he was near Ignis. 

Noctis wanted to do it again. Seriously, the feeling he had inside right now was just like being a teenager experimenting with Ignis and that was something he never thought possible to recapture. Kissing Ignis had felt so familiar. His lips responded on instinct, remembering how Ignis’ lips curled into a smile when he kissed and he just matched it without thought. 

He just wished he hadn’t pathetically cried through it.

When he looked across at Ignis, his eyes betrayed him by glancing at Ignis’ lips. They were so smooth and enticing and the need to just plant another kiss, or three, or a hundred kisses was just overwhelming. 

He slipped his tongue out, licking his lower lip. Wondering how Ignis tasted now he’d had his morning coffee.

“Careful. You’re tempting fate, Mister Caelum,” Ignis said, hand sliding onto Noctis’ thigh, too low for what Noctis would have liked.

“Guess that makes you my fate then, huh?” Noctis grinned, willing Ignis’ hand higher but of course Ignis just teased him, tracing circles on his leg through his jeans. “You know… I’m so bloody touch starved that feels great.”

“Mm… I can relate. It’s been too long.”

“Waaaaay too long,” Noctis agreed, though a foreboding feeling crept in. There was only so long he could delay giving Ignis his present, and if today was leading to where Noctis hoped, though he doubted Ignis would go _that_ far, he had to do this sooner rather than later or the guilt was gonna consume him. “Iggy?”

“Yes, Noct?”

“I…” He paused, scratching the back of his neck as he thought about his wording. He’d run this conversation over in his head so many times that he’d lost count, but he’d never been able to settle on an approach that made his actions sound anything but selfish. 

Noctis watched Ignis’ fingers on his leg, tracing the seam of his jeans near his knee. He couldn’t help but think this was either the last time Ignis would touch him or the start of the most epic reunion in history, but either way, it was an end to his guilt… hopefully.

“... Before things get, _you know_ , I still wanna give you your valentine’s present.”

In an instant, Ignis withdrew his hand. “My apologies. I have been rather forward this morning. I’ll try to show some refrain.”

“No, you idiot. I _want_ this,” Noctis insisted, grabbing Ignis’ hand and placing it back on his thigh to make a point, admittedly, it was higher up his leg now but Ignis didn’t readjust his hand so it was all good. “But your present is already a day late…”

“Regrettably I never considered we’d be exchanging gifts this year. Had I known that you intended to do so, I would have found you something suitable in return,” Ignis said, his lips ever so slightly down-turned. Anyone who didn’t know him well wouldn’t even notice.

Noctis shook his head, resting his hand over Ignis’. “You kissed me… that’s enough for me this year.”

“I beg to differ.”

Noctis didn’t argue. He’d never win against Ignis. “Okay, well, there is one thing you can do for me…”

“Name it and it’s yours.”

Noctis bit his lip. He really bloody hoped his dad was right because otherwise, he was about to lose Ignis forever. “Can you promise me that you won’t hate me?”

Ignis’ expression was guarded. Noctis hated it. “... I can never truly hate you.”

The way Ignis had sounded so solemn only made those words sting worse. He really didn’t deserve this wonderful person in his life.

Well, it was now or never…

“The reason you didn’t get that job, the one you really wanted… was because of me.” 

There, he said it. The crushing feeling inside him only hurt more now it was out in the open. Ignis looked upset and understandably so, but in a flash, he was guarded again and his hand stilled on Noctis’ leg.

“What did you do?” Ignis asked, voice giving nothing away.

Noctis paused, taking a deep breath, feeling it burn all the way down to his lungs. “I called them and said at this moment in time I’m unable to let you go, so please discount your application.”

“... Why?”

Noctis scrunched his eyes closed, in silent prayer for the Astrals to not let him fuck this up. When he looked at Ignis again he was met with narrow, studying eyes and he wondered if everything he’d done over the past week and a bit was wrong and unforgivable. 

The moment Ignis pulled his hand away, Noctis’ resolve wavered. His knee felt cold without Ignis’ touch.

“Although it was questionable at times, I-I study business management…” Noctis started having to look away from Ignis. “... And entrepreneurship is practically in my blood…”

His heart raced. He’d made the biggest mistake of his life and he was seconds away from Ignis throwing him out of his life for good.

“And, uh, well, I found a job after I graduate in July… You see, I, erm… I bought a property, and for the past week and a half I went on a fool’s errand to hire the staff I wanted, only it somehow went well… Scattered across Lucis, Accordo and even one in Tenebrae, I almost fully secured the entire staff roaster, only there’s one position I haven’t yet filled…”

Noctis peeked across at Ignis, too scared to let his eyes linger, only to find Ignis looking more curious than anything. 

That was... encouraging. And more than he deserved.

“Anyway, erm… there’s this building I used to like as a child… It’s in the heart of Insomnia and out the front there are these four hanging baskets, but one has this broken chain. Its door is boarded up, and its windows are all whitewashed now, but it has potential... I could almost smell the faint aroma of cinnamon when I went to view it…”

“You jest,” Ignis said, voice hoarse. 

Noctis pulled a lopsided smile in Ignis’ direction. “It’s only a joke if I can’t find a head chef.”

Ignis’ lower lip quivered.

“... Happy valentine’s?”

“You fool,” Ignis whispered, falling against Noctis. 

Noctis didn’t move, but when Ignis rested his head on his chest and his shoulders shook, Noctis wrapped his arms around him, stroking his back. “It’s okay, Iggy. I got you…”

Ignis’ fingers curled into fistfuls of Noctis’ t-shirt. “You idiot…”

Noctis humming, craning his neck to kiss the top of Ignis’ head. He could feel Ignis’ tears soaking through his shirt, and he could feel his own tears starting to form, but he tried to blink them away. 

When Ignis lifted his head, there were tears streaming down cheeks. Noctis couldn’t resist wiping them away with his thumb, leaving a watery smear across Ignis’ cheek.

“How can I ever thank you?” Ignis asked as his body trembled in Noctis’ arms. 

Noctis smiled as warm tears spilt down his cheeks. “You could become the head chef of Nightfire?”

Ignis gasped, as his lips pulled into a shaky smile he seemed barely strong enough to hold. “You named the restaurant Nightfire?” 

“Y-yeah,” Noctis rasped. Seeing Ignis like this hurt in places he didn’t know existed. “So what do you say? You gonna be beside me?”

Ignis held his gaze, eyes full of love and admiration as his hand found its way to Noctis’ cheek and he leant forward pressing the softest kiss to Noctis’ lips akin to butterfly wings caressing him. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's the bad news... we've caught up with everything I've written so uploads are going to slow but I'll do my best to keep them coming <3


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